<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Lines on Our Palms by thefangirlingdead</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29992215">The Lines on Our Palms</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefangirlingdead/pseuds/thefangirlingdead'>thefangirlingdead</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Reincarnation, Soulmates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:41:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,374</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29992215</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefangirlingdead/pseuds/thefangirlingdead</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The romantic concept of soulmates is the thing that movies are made of and what all the greatest love songs are written about. Once you meet that special someone, all of your memories from your past life come flooding back. </p><p>Levi thinks that the concept of soulmates is stupid until a familiar looking man steps foot into his tattoo shop one night and turns his entire world upside down.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi Ackerman &amp; Hange Zoë, Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>344</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I Will Meet You There</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I haven't written an Eruri fic in FOREVER, but I started rewatching Attack On Titan and decided to finish this AU that I started forever ago. I honestly just really wanted an excuse to write a sappy soulmate AU, so here we are. Surprise. </p><p>The title of this fic was inspired by the song "<a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/6QbWwa7R89HU9enfSadkw8?si=r7OXNAVRT9OygqVMb2Ty-w">Beyond The Pines</a>" by Thrice. It gives me lots of feelings. </p><p>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> I will meet you there, beyond the pines<br/>Templed in twilight or dawn<br/>The light and easy air<br/>Tracing the lines on our palms </em>
</p><p>- <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/6QbWwa7R89HU9enfSadkw8?si=Okzn-3G2QVWzvU5rEnTdPw">Beyond The Pines</a> - Thrice</p><hr/><p>The romantic concept of soulmates is the thing that movies are made of. It’s what all the greatest love songs are written about. It’s the epic love stories that parents tell their children as they’re growing up, the heartwarming piece at the end of the evening news, and it’s what every teenager <em>dreams</em> of when they have their first, second, third and fourth crush. </p><p>
  <em> Maybe they’ll be the one. Maybe, we’ll make eye contact, and I’ll remember our past life together.  </em>
</p><p>But the <em> reality </em> of soulmates isn’t as beautiful or theatrical or <em> perfect </em> as the stories and movies and love songs make it out to be. </p><p>Sometimes, it <em> is </em> perfect. In those cases, it’s like something out of a cheesy romance novel - you bump into your soulmate on a busy New York street and just like <em> that, </em> it all comes rushing back to you. Or maybe you decide to try out a new coffee shop, and you can’t even get your order out because you’re looking into the barista’s eyes and realizing that you <em> know them. </em> You <em> remember </em> them. Or maybe, you meet as teenagers and become high school sweethearts, then spouses, then raise a happy family together in the dream home that you never could have afforded in a past life.</p><p>Those are the inspirational love stories that they tell on the news, that people share all over social media and they make sitcoms and write books about. </p><p>But not every story is that pretty.</p><p>Sometimes, it’s absolutely <em> heartbreaking </em> - like the emergency room surgeon who has that moment of realization just as they’re about to attempt a life-saving surgery on a patient they’ve never met, or the first responder who feels their heart shatter when they lay eyes on the car crash victim that looks just <em> too </em> familiar. </p><p>It can be bittersweet, too. Sometimes, it happens far too young, when two bright-eyed children meet in grade school and end up in therapy, trying to understand what the weight of their memories means and coping with the pain and trauma that comes along with them. Sometimes, it’s two people finding each other later on in life, long after their golden years are behind them, but still very much in love. Sometimes, it’s falling in love with someone who isn’t your soulmate, then meeting that one special someone, and loving them all the same. </p><p>Sometimes, those memories of a past life are good, but sometimes, they’re painful. After all, a relationship <em> has </em> to end somehow…</p><p>And sometimes, you make it twenty-five years before your soulmate finally shows up, and then when they finally do, you don’t understand it at all.</p><p>Or maybe that’s just Levi. </p><p>At twenty-five years old, Levi would be lying if he said he wasn’t content with the life he built for himself, soulmate or not. He and his childhood best friend, Hange Zoe, get the fuck out of their tiny hometown the second that they graduate high school - Hange attending one of Colorado’s most prestegious colleges and Levi pursuing his dream to eventually open his own tattoo shop. They make an odd pair, but the brainy, high energy and easily excitable Hange perfectly balances Levi’s more standoffish, prickly and solitary personality in a way that makes most strangers think that <em> they’re </em> soulmates, which never fails to crack Hange up any time someone makes the suggestion. While they’re certainly not soulmates, Hange is the only person that Levi can be around for extended periods of time without wanting to assault them, and that’s saying a lot.</p><p>By the time they’re in their mid twenties, they’re both doing fairly well for themselves. Only a few short years after leaving their hometown behind, Levi finds himself tattooing full-time and Hange has landed an internship at a lab nearby, and it really feels like they’re finally getting their shit together, soulmates or not. After all, one doesn’t need <em> true love </em> to feel fulfilled or happy. </p><p>In fact, if he’s being honest, Levi has always found the idea of soulmates incredibly cheesy. He’s never been the type to believe in fate, and the idea that there’s someone out there that he’s supposed to end up with, already predetermined by a past life and a whole lot of <em> fate </em> is frankly <em> stupid as fuck. </em> Sure, he makes quite a bit of money off of soulmate-related tattoos, but he honestly couldn’t care less care if he never found his own. Hell, he wouldn’t mind if he <em> didn’t </em> have one. He doesn’t like the idea that a major component of his life has already been decided for him, even if it was by his own choosing in a previous life. </p><p>Hange, for the most part, seems to share that sentiment. They’ve had countless conversations about it over the years, and generally, Hange agrees that a soulmate just seems like too much work, especially with their lofty goals and aspirations for the future. </p><p>But just five years out of high school, with their whole lives ahead of them, everything changes - and not just for Hange, but for both of them. </p><p>Hange finds their soulmate shortly after turning twenty-three, and it’s not like the movies or romance novels or love songs that they’ve heard their entire lives, but it’s still incredible, nonetheless. Even Levi can admit that. </p><p>It’s so anticlimactic when it happens that at first, it doesn’t even dawn on Levi that Hange just found their soulmate. They’re in some shitty, overly-crowded bar downtown on a Saturday night - Hange had insisted on dragging Levi out for <em> a night of fun </em> - and when Levi loses Hange somewhere in the sea of moving bodies and clinking glasses, he sighs and backtracks, regretting ever agreeing to come out with them. He really doesn’t care for most bars or clubs, but downtown on the weekend has him reaching an entirely new level of hatred and impatience, and he fully plans on laying into them as soon as he spies their messy head of hair or hears their loud voice over the music.</p><p>When Levi finally does lay eyes on Hange in the dimly lit bar, he’s unsurprised to see them clinging onto someone he has never met in a bone-crushing hug. It’s not shocking - after all, it’s common knowledge that Hange is a social butterfly compared to Levi - so he simply rolls his eyes and approaches Hange and the supposed stranger.  </p><p>But then, they part, and Levi catches a glimpse of Hange’s face, and - </p><p>
  <em> Oh. </em>
</p><p>Hange’s lips are twisted up in a bittersweet smile, tears brimming in their eyes, hands still holding tight onto the man in front of them, and deep down, some part of Levi just <em> knows </em> that this is someone Hange has never met in this lifetime. He knows, because he has seen many of his clients look at <em> their </em> partners and soulmates the same way. </p><p>So Hange finds their soulmate at twenty-three years old in a shitty bar in downtown Denver, and when Levi thinks back on it, that’s when things really begin to change. It doesn’t change the dynamic of their friendship by any means, nor does it change Hange’s drive in regards to their career, but it certainly changes their outlook on soulmates.</p><p>And over time, it changes Levi’s, too. </p><p>That night, in the crowded bar, a teary-eyed Hange leans in to press a kiss to the stranger’s lips before Levi even manages to approach the pair.</p><p>“Levi, this is Moblit,” Hange says once they’ve found their way out of the crowd and into a quieter, more secluded booth at a less popular dive bar less than twenty minutes later. “He’s -” their voice catches, and <em> holy shit </em> Levi has never seen them like this - at a loss for words. </p><p>“I’m their soulmate,” the stranger - Moblit - supplies with a warm smile and an extended arm. “It’s good to see you, Levi.”</p><p>He says it with such warmth, such familiarity, that Levi <em> almost </em> feels like he’s met him before. Levi almost makes a snarky comment about it <em> (“Am I supposed to know who you are?”) </em> but before he can get the words out, Hange is gasping, practically lurching forward across the table to grab a handful of Levi’s hoodie and wrenching him forward. He has to brace himself on the table to stop them from pulling him out of his seat completely or causing him to faceplant on the sticky surface.</p><p>“Hange, what the <em> fuck?” </em> he bites, attempting to pry their hands off of his clothes, but they don’t budge. Instead, they just fix him with a manic grin and exclaim - </p><p><em> “Holy shit, </em> Levi - we <em> knew </em> each other in our past life!”</p><p>And <em> that - </em>that’s when everything begins to change for Levi. </p><p>Two hours later, long after last call, Hange is hugging (and kissing) Moblit goodbye for now, with his phone number saved and a promise to get dinner the following night. And only about half an hour after that, it’s well past two in the morning and Levi finds himself sitting next to Hange on the sofa, nursing a beer and listening to them excitedly recount stories from a past life, attempting to wrap his head around it and make sense of it all. When Hange gets excited about something, their train of thought can become incredibly hard to follow, and this is obviously no exception. From what he has gathered from their rambling, though, Hange was part of some sort of military branch alongside Moblit and Levi, but the purpose of said branch isn’t entirely clear. In fact, not much of it makes sense to Levi other than the fact that they had been torn apart tragically all too soon. </p><p>So long after two in the morning as they sit together in their shared apartment, it’s the least that Levi can do to let Hange ramble on and on about their past life, and as the night goes on, he lets his curiosity get the best of him. He’s never been the sentimental type and he has never really <em> believed </em> in soulmates, but seeing Hange’s reaction to finding Moblit… well, it might have been anticlimactic, but it’s the kind of shit that they write movies about. It’s the kind of shit that makes all of those sappy tattoos and love stories make sense.</p><p>It’s the kind of shit that makes Levi wonder if <em> he </em> has a soulmate from this past life, too. And maybe, if he cared for them as much as Hange appears to care about Moblit, maybe it wouldn't be so damn bad. </p><p>So, as it nears three in the morning, Levi can’t help but ask, “So… In this past life, did I - I mean, was I -”</p><p>Hange’s grin is something that would terrify most people, but it doesn’t surprise Levi after years of friendship, even now. “Are you trying to ask if you were <em> with </em> someone?” They ask, a teasing tone in their voice. </p><p>Levi bristles. “Well, no. I mean, maybe. I don’t know -”</p><p><em> “Holy shit, </em> you actually care,” Hange interrupts, “And here I thought you were this heartless, tough as nails -”</p><p>“Well <em> no shit,” </em> Levi bites in response. “I mean if I’m destined to spend the rest of my life with someone, it would be nice to know that they’re not an asshole.”</p><p>Hange barks out a laugh at Levi’s very… <em> Levi </em> response. “I mean, I guess that’s fair.”</p><p>But they don’t say anything right away, which has Levi leaning in just a little bit, annoyed and curious and just a little bit embarrassed. “So…”</p><p>Hange clears their throat, then lifts their beer to their lips to take a swig. “Well, it’s uh - it’s <em> complicated.” </em></p><p>Levi fixes them with a flat stare, repeating, “Complicated.”</p><p>It isn’t a question, but Hange gets the point. With a nervous chuckle, they ask, “You have time for a story?”</p><p>And Levi extends his arms as if to ask <em> “What the fuck else am I doing?” </em></p><p>Nearly an hour and another couple of drinks later, Levi is still sitting next to Hange on the sofa, eyebrows raised when he mutters, deadpan, <em> “Giant, naked monsters.” </em></p><p>“Giant, naked monsters who <em> eat </em> people,” Hange repeats with near childlike glee, and Levi finds himself thinking that if Hange is this insane in <em> this </em> life, they must have been <em> unbearable </em> before. “But I mean, they didn’t have genitals, which was kind of nice. Although, it was really puzzling and -”</p><p>“Jesus fucking christ,” Levi mutters, cutting them off before they can go off on another tangent. He pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “I honestly can’t tell if you’re trolling me right now or -”</p><p>“I’m not,” Hange insists earnestly, “I swear.”</p><p>“So where does the whole <em> soulmate </em> thing come in then?” Levi asks in an attempt to stop Hange’s rambling again. </p><p>“Well, like I said, Moblit was part of my… squad. He served <em> under </em> me, actually,” they say with a laugh. Their voice sounds far away, happy, despite the bleak content of their memories. </p><p>“No, I mean -”</p><p><em> “Oh. </em> Oh, for <em> you,” </em> Hange quickly understands what Levi means, but their voice sounds suspiciously less excited, a little more cautious. “That’s uh - that’s the complicated part, I guess. I mean, you were… well, like you are now.”</p><p>Levi raises his eyebrows, daring Hange to say something stupid. </p><p>“A standoffish asshole,” Hange supplies with a grin. Levi would argue that he’s a <em> private person, </em> not an asshole, but Hange has heard it a million times, so with an eye roll, he just lets them continue. “So I mean… I could think of someone, but even if I would have asked you if you two were together back then, you would have just told me to go fuck myself.”</p><p>Levi huffs out a laugh. Good to know that some things never change. </p><p>“Can’t you just tell me their name?” he asks.</p><p>“I -” Hange starts, their mouth opening then closing. They chose their next words carefully. “I think it’s best that I don’t theorize here, Levi. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”</p><p>Levi rolls his eyes, “Did you annoy me as much back then as you do now, too?”</p><p>And <em> that </em> comment has Hange leaning back, barking out another loud laugh.</p><hr/><p>Two years pass after Hange finds their soulmate. Two years of Hange and Moblit together, of stories from a past life and Levi wishing, for the very first time, that he could remember it, too. </p><p>Hange sticks to their word for two whole years. Despite Levi’s pestering at first, they don’t budge. He even tries Moblit shortly after he moves in, but his lips are sealed as well. They don’t theorize or speculate on Levi’s soulmate, and while Levi wants to <em> fight them </em> over it, he gets it. Begrudgingly, he understands. </p><p>So for two whole years, he watches Hange’s blossoming romance with their soulmate, and he can’t help but wonder if he’ll ever find his own. It’s something he has never really given much thought to, but over the course of those two years, he finds himself thinking about it more and more.</p><p>If he <em> does </em> have a soulmate - if they’re the person that Hange thinks they are - he wonders what they’re like. What do they look like? What was their relationship like? Did Levi lose them too young, as Hange did with Moblit, or was it the other way around? Or did they make it out of that war alive and live a happy life together? </p><p>For two years, those questions go unanswered, until a tall, blonde man walks through the front door of his tattoo shop early one evening and turns his entire world upside down. </p><p>At twenty-five, Levi finally has everything he has ever wanted in his career. He has been running his own tattoo shop for over a year - a modest, clean space in the heart of downtown Denver, sandwiched between a stylish little cafe and a dive bar - and he has a strong team of artists and piercers behind him. The shop isn’t <em> massive </em> by any means, but what it lacks in size, it makes up for in artistry. While Levi specializes in stunning, vibrant colors and beautiful floral work, he comprises his team of artists to fill in the gaps - one who does fantastic portrait work, one of the best geometric artists in the city and an apprentice who is shaping up to be an incredible traditional artist - making it no surprise that they’re generally booked out for months. </p><p>While some of the other artists, particularly his apprentice, accept walk-in’s whenever they have a gap in their schedule, Levi strictly only tattoos by appointment only. It helps to weed out the idiots, he insists, as most people who book with him have to wait months just for a <em> consultation, </em> let alone the tattoo itself. </p><p>That’s what his last appointment of the day is today. A quick, thirty minute consultation before he’s off for the next two days. It shouldn’t take too long - the note alongside the appointment said something about a mountain scene, which is generally pretty straightforward - so Levi is already cleaning up his station by 6 PM when the front door chimes. </p><p>Ymir, one of Levi’s piercers, is at the front desk when the client walks in, so he doesn’t even bother lifting his head. Instead, he just continues sanitizing his station. </p><p>It takes less than a minute before Ymir is yelling his name, though - <em> “Levi, your six o’clock is here!” </em> - and he’s finally glancing up. </p><p>The client is a tall, well put-together looking man. His blonde hair is parted neatly and stylishly to the side, complimenting the dark button-up and tie he wears well, but that’s not the first thing that Levi notices about him. No, although the well dressed man <em> does </em> look relatively out of place in a tattoo shop, that’s not what stands out about him. Instead, even from across the room, the first thing that Levi notices are his piercing blue eyes. </p><p>That, and Levi can’t shake the sense of familiarity about him, like they’ve met before. Maybe he’s been to the shop before - that wouldn’t be surprising. Or maybe they went to school together, or he could be a friend of Hange’s...</p><p>He doesn’t have much time to think about that, though, before he’s standing and crossing the room. At the very least, he appears approachable and kind, greeting Levi with a warm smile and an outstretched hand. </p><p>“Hey,” Levi greets him, taking his hand, “You must be -”</p><p>He doesn’t get to finish the rest of his sentence. He can’t, because the second that he takes the stranger’s hand, time and space and reality warps around him and suddenly, he’s kneeling on the ground, dirty water staining his clothes and dripping from his hair as he stares up at those same blue eyes. Suddenly, those eyes are locked on his own, gazing up at him through torrential rain, wind whipping around them - determined and fierce. Those same blue eyes stare back at him with understanding, pain and remorse in the dim light of an office as Levi begs him <em> don’t do this... </em></p><p>When Levi takes that hand now, he takes that same hand in a past life, and it’s nothing he ever expected or hoped for, but life changing, nonetheless. </p><p>They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die, but nobody ever bothered to tell Levi that the same thing happens when you <em> remember. </em> Sure, it’s in all of the movies and songs and epic romance novels and Hange has <em> tried </em> to explain it to him, albeit not very eloquently, but nothing could have prepared him for the way that his memories from a past life come flooding back all at once when he looks into those eyes. It feels like he’s been hit by a truck, like he’s been struck by lightning, like something just pulled all of the breath from his lungs. </p><p>All of that pain. That suffering. All of the fighting. And yet, there are glimpses of joy, little moments of happiness, when those crystal blue eyes catch his own from across the room, when they find Levi’s hardened gaze on the battlefield -</p><p>When they say goodbye.</p><p>Levi gasps, ripping his hand from the other man’s grasp and takes a shaky step back, his legs suddenly weak and unsteady underneath him. He feels like he could collapse, like he could laugh, like he could cry, but for a moment, he can’t do anything except stare up at that all-too familiar stranger with the blonde hair and blue eyes and an intense gaze that says -</p><p>
  <em> Fight for the Survey Corps, Levi - humanity needs your strength! </em>
</p><p>And Levi <em> knows </em> that this is real. Deep down, in his heart, he knows that he <em> remembers. </em> That he isn’t having some sort of episode, that this isn’t some acquaintance that he knows through Hange or Moblit or any of his co-workers. He remembers, and as his voice finally comes back to him, he doesn’t know what to say, what to do. He just doesn’t know how he ever forgot -</p><p>
  <em> “Erwin.” </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. To The Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hiii, sorry for the cliffhanger on the first chapter! Here's some real interaction between them. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>I will wait for you at the end, love<br/>
Let your past lives through<br/>
Then you wake up<br/>
Through the catacombs and the nothing<br/>
Annie, rattle through to the beginning</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>- "<a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/2kEpNkZOPdKQbQS65mmEn5?si=5FGkvZC1RRGASOxbVMazjQ">Past Lives</a>" - Local Natives</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>When Levi finally comes back to himself, it’s with absolute certainty that he remembers, that he’s staring with wide eyes up at none other than Erwin Smith - the 13th Commander of the Survey Corps, his best friend and most trusted confidant, the man that he fought beside, the man he fought </span>
  <em>
    <span>for,</span>
  </em>
  <span> who dragged him out of the Underground and taught him what it was like to live a life worth fighting for. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin Smith, his supposed </span>
  <em>
    <span>soulmate.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>At first, Levi can’t speak. He can’t even think. He just whispers Erwin’s name, but nothing more, because his </span>
  <em>
    <span>entire fucking world</span>
  </em>
  <span> just got turned on its head. Because he lived his whole life feeling indifferent about soulmates and past lives, because it felt so </span>
  <em>
    <span>pointless</span>
  </em>
  <span> to focus on the past, to wonder who he might be tethered to, but now, he’s staring up at that person and he can barely remember to breathe. Levi can’t speak because an entire lifetime worth of memories just came flooding back, and he's honestly surprised that he's even still standing. He can't speak because he has no idea what to say, because so much went unsaid before Erwin died, because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>he’d never see him again, yet here he is, in the flesh, standing in front of him with wide eyes as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And when Erwin eventually breaks the silence, his voice sounds just as Levi remembers. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Levi?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi wants to fall to his knees. He wants to scream, he wants to laugh, he wants to cry. Hell, he wants to ask </span>
  <em>
    <span>why,</span>
  </em>
  <span> because </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course</span>
  </em>
  <span> they were close in their past life - hell, they were damn near inseparable, up until the very end - they were close friends, teammates, comrades, but never -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Never </span>
  <em>
    <span>lovers.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Weren’t soulmates supposed to be romantic partners? Someone you loved in a past life? A great romance that surpassed time and space and all obstacles that life threw your way? Isn’t that what they sing about in all the great love songs? Aren’t those the stories that they tell in books and movies and television shows and plays? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi would be lying if he said that he didn’t care for Erwin deeply, that he didn’t grieve when he lost him, that the pain wasn’t the same as that day Farlan and Isabel perished - probably worse - but he’d never call it </span>
  <em>
    <span>love.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi realizes that Erwin is watching him expectantly, waiting for a response, something, </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> that tells him that he remembers, so Levi shakes those thoughts and questions and worries from his head for the time being and finds his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he chokes out, “It’s me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you -” Erwin starts, but Levi cuts him off before he can even get the words out.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>And then, before he knows what’s happening, Erwin is grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. For a few seconds, Levi just stands there in shock, his arms hanging uselessly at his sides, but eventually, he comes to his senses and returns the gesture. He wraps his arms around Erwin’s middle - </span>
  <em>
    <span>and holy shit, he’s really real </span>
  </em>
  <span>- and for just a moment, buries his face in his chest and just… </span>
  <em>
    <span>is.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They never held each other like this in their past life. In fact, Levi can count on one hand the amount of times that they embraced in such an… </span>
  <em>
    <span>intimate</span>
  </em>
  <span> way, but it feels </span>
  <em>
    <span>right.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It makes sense. It all just seems to </span>
  <em>
    <span>click.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, after what feels like a lifetime, Erwin pulls away, just far enough to hold Levi at arm’s length, looking down at him like he can’t quite believe it, either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s also the first to break the silence, his voice barely above a whisper when he says, “It’s really you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It feels so surreal, looking up at Erwin and </span>
  <em>
    <span>remembering</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. Remembering everything. The walls and the titans and the Survey Corps and his entire life and… </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It’s… Well, it’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span>, actually. Because nobody ever tells you what it’s like to suddenly remember </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> from a past life, all the pain and sorrow and joy and happiness, all at once. It’s overwhelming, to say the least. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi can’t say anything. He doesn’t know </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> to say, his voice is caught in his throat, and after a few moments of silence, it prompts Erwin to gently ask, “Levi… are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fuck,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Levi bites at last, ever so eloquent, earning a surprised laugh from Erwin.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Erwin,</span>
  </em>
  <span> who’s standing right in front of him, still holding onto his shoulders. So incredibly sturdy and strong and grounding, just as he has always been. So incredibly </span>
  <em>
    <span>real.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It's then that the reality of the situation </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span> dawns on Levi, who quickly comes to his senses, glancing over at Ymir - </span>
  <em>
    <span>holy shit, Ymir</span>
  </em>
  <span> - who is still standing behind the counter, just </span>
  <em>
    <span>watching</span>
  </em>
  <span> them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ymir, you can go home for the night,” Levi hears himself say, but he doesn’t quite register it. His voice sounds so far away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so does hers when she just rolls her eyes and mutters, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Finally,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> before stepping away from them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi, to his credit, holds himself together relatively well. With all of the composure he can muster, Levi looks back up at Erwin again once they’re alone and gestures toward his work station, muttering, “We should probably talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not a bad idea,” Erwin agrees, and as Levi closes up the shop, turning off the </span>
  <em>
    <span>open </span>
  </em>
  <span>sign and locking the front door, he crosses the room and takes a seat in one of the open chairs in Levi’s station. The station that, not even ten minutes ago, Levi had been sanitizing, cleaning up for the night, anticipating an easy consultation before going home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So much has changed since then. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> has changed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A minute later, Levi is taking a seat in front of Erwin, who seems</span>
  <em>
    <span> way</span>
  </em>
  <span> too relaxed, but then again, he’s always been so cool under pressure. It took Levi </span>
  <em>
    <span>ages</span>
  </em>
  <span> to see under his mask, to even begin to understand what was going on in his head, and even now, some things remain a mystery. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d ask how the fuck you’re so calm right now, but well… frankly, that’s not very surprising,” Levi mutters as he takes a seat, and thankfully, his comment seems to lift the heaviness in the air a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin huffs out a laugh, shaking his head, “I’ll admit, it’s definitely a lot -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you seem to be taking it well,” Levi offers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with a smile, Erwin simply remarks, “So do you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi wants to tell him to shut the fuck up. He wants to admit that he’s acctually </span>
  <em>
    <span>freaking the fuck out</span>
  </em>
  <span> inside right now, that he has so many questions, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just snorts and mutters, “Yeah well, when you spent your past life killing fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>titans, </span>
  </em>
  <span>I guess this shit isn’t all that surprising, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin’s smile - that fond grin, reserved just for Levi - is still the same in this life. The sight of it is something akin to déjà vu, only more powerful. It’s surreal, really. “It’s good to see you, Levi,” Erwin says in a soft tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Levi, defensive and guarded as always, crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back in his work chair. Somehow, he manages to keep his cool as he mutters, “Yeah. You too. You’ve even got both arms, so that’s an upgrade.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span> earns a surprised laugh from Erwin. “You’re still as blunt as ever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and I’m sure you’re still a creepy asshole,” Levi shoots back, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>just like that,</span>
  </em>
  <span> it feels as if nothing has changed. It feels like they’re sitting in Erwin’s office, Levi situated across from him with a cup of tea in his hand, some witty remark on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is this how it feels like for everyone else? Like picking up where you left off? Like everything and nothing has changed at the same time? Or is that just </span>
  <em>
    <span>them?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As Levi sits across from Erwin now, in his tattoo shop rather than a shitty Survey Corps office, he can’t help but wonder if this is how </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> feels at first. Probably not, because if he’s being honest, he never expected to call </span>
  <em>
    <span>Erwin Smith</span>
  </em>
  <span> his soulmate. Sure, they made a great team - Erwin could predict Levi’s movements before he even made a decision and Levi always knew when and where Erwin needed him - but </span>
  <em>
    <span>soulmates? </span>
  </em>
  <span>While he trusted Erwin with his life, valued his opinion above anyone else’s and fought for his cause long after he died, they weren’t in </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> by any means. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure, Erwin was one of the most important people in Levi’s life, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>love?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Soulmate? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For fuck’s sake, Levi never even entertained the thought of a romantic partner in his past life, not when he was living in the Underground and </span>
  <em>
    <span>certianly</span>
  </em>
  <span> not when he was fighting for his life in the Survey Corps. And </span>
  <em>
    <span>Erwin?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He was his friend. His superior. His comrade and teammate. Sure, Levi was </span>
  <em>
    <span>fiercely</span>
  </em>
  <span> protective of those he cared about, and that certainly included Erwin, but does that really make them soulmates? Is he missing something here? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully, Erwin seems to share the sentiment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a beat of silence and a deep breath, Erwin leans forward, and in a very careful tone, says, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, Levi, but I didn’t expect - I mean, of all people -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Relief washes over Levi like a wave, knowing that he’s not the only one feeling blindsided by this. “Yeah, you’re telling me,” he mutters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin hums. “So I’m not the only one who feels this way?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not at all,” Levi retorts, “I mean, </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit,</span>
  </em>
  <span> I’m really happy to see you, but I just - I didn’t expect... ”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A grin returns to Erwin’s face before he teases, “To be fair, nobody really </span>
  <em>
    <span>expects </span>
  </em>
  <span>this…”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh fuck off,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Levi bites, but the smile on his face gives him away, and before long, he and Erwin are both laughing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope that this doesn’t complicate things…” Erwin muses a few moments later, a serious tone returning to his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And before Levi can stop himself, he’s offering, “It doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wants to argue that there are plenty of people out there who don’t actually end up with their soulmate, or who date other people after losing their soulmate and live perfectly happy lives. Hell, there are even people who have multiple soulmates, or those who don’t have one at all - so the fact that they weren’t romantic in a past life doesn’t have to complicate the connection that they have in this one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But thankfully, he doesn’t have to say any of that, because then, Erwin is smiling and murmuring, “I suppose you’re right. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> truly happy to see you, Levi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” Levi replies, his voice heavy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin clears his throat at that. “I’m sure we have a lot of catching up to do…” he finally muses, “But I know you’re probably closing soon, and I don’t want to keep you too late. Maybe, we can get a drink soon, if that’s something that you’d be comfortable with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>God.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The man is still too formal, too proper, even now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something I’d be…” Levi mutters under his breath with a scoff and a shake of his head, “I’d - </span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’d like that. Are you kidding me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it’s then, looking at Erwin as he sits in front of him, that he remembers the </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> reason he stepped into his shop today. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shit,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> he hisses, “You had an appointment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin, having apparently forgotten as well, barks out a laugh. “Oh, yeah. I suppose I did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi extends his arms, gesturing around them. “Well...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin fixes him with a look for a long moment, and it’s the same calculating, curious look that Levi has seen countless times in a past life, like he’s a puzzle to figure out and Erwin is trying to put together all of the pieces. But before the moment drags on too long, before Levi has to bark out some sarcastic remark to break the tension, Erwin seems to snap out of it, shrugging and saying, “I don’t really have a specific design in mind, but I figured you’d prefer that, judging by your work.” He extends his right arm, “But I was thinking about something involving mountains, on my forearm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi hums thoughtfully. He’s in work-mode, now, and it feels nice, thinking about something other than past lives and soulmates for the time being. “We can make that work - how big are you thinking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t quite sure - maybe from my wrist to here -” he points to the ditch of his elbow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi raises his eyebrows. “This your first tattoo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin smiles sheepishly. “Is it that obvious?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you stick out in here like a sore thumb,” Levi remarks with a smirk, motioning to Erwin’s business casual getup, “But if you’re cool with something that large, I’m down. Can I ask what made you want to do it now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s actually something I’ve wanted for a while, and finally felt that the time was right,” Erwin explains, “It’s for my father.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi remembers Erwin mentioning his father </span>
  <em>
    <span>before,</span>
  </em>
  <span> too. He was the man who Erwin practically modeled his life after. He was the man who kept Erwin going. Levi knows how much pain and trauma was buried there, and for a moment, he wonders if Erwin got luckier this time around, if he had more time with him in this life. In fact, he almost asks, but he holds his tongue. That’s something that they can talk about another time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So instead, Levi grabs one of his many sketchbooks from the workspace behind him, flips to a blank page, and quickly begins drawing up a rough idea for the tattoo - mountain peaks in the background, pine trees in the foreground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Color?” he asks as he draws, glancing up at Erwin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Definitely,” Erwin agrees, “That’s uh - that’s actually why I booked this appointment with you. Your colors really stand out, Levi - your work is incredible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi’s eyes stay trained on Erwin’s face for a moment before he cracks a smile. “Not as exciting as killing titans for a living, but I’m not half bad, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin chuckles, “Not bad at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Twenty minutes later, Levi is packing up to head home, his sketchbook - along with a few rough sketches for Erwin’s tattoo - secured safely in his messenger bag, and Erwin is waiting for him at the front door of the shop. When they step out onto the city street, the sun has long since disappeared beyond the horizon, and the cool night air feels refreshing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sensing that it’s their time to part, Erwin offers Levi a smile. “I’m really glad I found you, Levi,” he says, an echo of his words from earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same here,” Levi admits, “And uh - if your offer for drinks still stands, I could definitely use one after all of this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely,” Erwin replies enthusiastically, “I have your number, so -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m free the next few days,” Levi says with a shrug, “Just text me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds great,” Erwin assures. “Do you need a ride home? I’m parked just around the corner -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi almost thinks about accepting his offer, but honestly, the walk home would probably do him some good. If anything, it’ll help him clear his head before he gets back to his apartment and -</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh fuck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Hange. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi completely forgot about Hange. He had been so focused on Erwin that he completely forgot that none other than Hange Zoe is waiting for him at home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He decides he’ll drop </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> bomb on Erwin the next time he sees him. Tonight has already been so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I actually live just down the street,” Levi replies, “So I’ll be fine walking - thank you, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, before he knows what’s happening, Erwin’s pulling him in for another hug, muttering, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow” against Levi’s hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>god,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Levi had no way of knowing until now, but he fucking missed him.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>By the time Levi steps through the front door of his apartment, it’s just past 9 PM and nearly two hours later than he had been planning on getting home, but that was before </span>
  <em>
    <span>Erwin </span>
  </em>
  <span>walked into his shop and turned his entire world upside down. Honestly, Levi didn’t even realize how late it really was until he began his walk home, and by then, he was determined to make a pit stop at the liquor store, because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span> a drink after everything that just happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That, and he knew he’d need it to deal with Hange.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And sure enough, when he steps through the front door that evening, Hange is quick to glance up from where they’re seated on the sofa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re home late,” they remark as Levi crosses the kitchen and heads straight for the refrigerator. He doesn’t say anything in response and instead, just opens the case of craft beer and begins placing the cans inside. “I was about to call you - what took so long?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite his desire to reply with something snappy - </span>
  <em>
    <span>who are you, my mom? </span>
  </em>
  <span>- Levi keeps his mouth shut. He’s too busy trying to figure out how to break the news to Hange without them absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>losing their shit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, Hange takes his silence as a reason to continue pestering him. They pause whatever movie they’d been watching and quickly cross the apartment, plopping backwards into one of the kitchen chairs, their arms resting on the back of it as they watch him. “Come on, Mr. Talkative, how was your day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Consultation went long,” Levi mutters at last. He can’t quite look Hange in the face, though, because honestly, he feels like he’s on the verge of a breakdown. He can’t believe he didn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>think</span>
  </em>
  <span> of Hange until he was on his way home. He wanted to collapse on the sidewalk right then and there, and now, he wants nothing more than to close the distance between them and wrap them in a tight hug, but he doesn’t even know where to begin. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Seeing</span>
  </em>
  <span> them is so much different than remembering them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hange just huffs in response, not quite understanding the gravity of the situation just yet. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Someone’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>grouchy. Was your client an ass?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi pauses, hidden halfway behind the refrigerator door, trying to figure out the right words to say. He knows he can't hide there forever, it's only a matter of time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hange takes his silence as their cue to go on. “Cause if they were, you could always hide a </span>
  <em>
    <span>tiny</span>
  </em>
  <span> little dick in their tattoo… Y’know, small enough that they won’t notice it at first, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’ll</span>
  </em>
  <span> know it’s there and -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The client wasn’t an ass,” Levi mutters at last, cutting Hange off before they can keep rambling. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Normally, their stupid joke would have earned a chuckle from Levi, but tonight, his mind is elsewhere, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hange seems to sense it. “Well… what’s going on? You wanna talk about it, or do you want me to fuck off?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>god,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hange has been such a great friend to him in this life, too. They still work so well together, despite their differences. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So before he has a chance to talk himself out of it, Levi takes a deep breath, shuts the refrigerator door and says, eyes closed, bracing for Hange's reaction, “They were my soulmate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hange stares at him, eyes wide, for what feels like forever before finally uttering, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“What?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi looks at Hange now - </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> looks at them - and tries to hold it together, his last memories of them flashing through his mind.  “The client, my last client of the day - they were my soulmate,” he tries to explain as clearly as he can, “Hange, I found my soulmate. I - I remember.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Hange is up and out of their seat in a heartbeat, crossing the kitchen in a few long strides, “Oh shit, Jesus, fuck - Levi -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But before they tackle him to the ground or overwhelm him more than they already have, they pause, just for a moment and ask, “So you remember -”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Levi rasps, his voice wet. His last memories of them flash before his eyes, and he attempts to will them away. He doesn't want to think of that now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully, that’s all it takes before Hange is practically </span>
  <em>
    <span>lunging</span>
  </em>
  <span> at him, wrapping him in a tight hug. This time, Levi expects the embrace and he’s quick to return it, his arms wrapping around Hange’s solid form. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It’s Hange. It’s really them. Obviously, Levi knew that before he even walked in the door, but hugging them now, knowing that they both remember, Levi can’t believe he ever lived without these memories. He can’t believe that at one point, he didn’t care about remembering, that he didn't care about finding </span>
  <em>
    <span>his person</span>
  </em>
  <span> and remembering those he cared about the most.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Hange finally pulls away, they hold Levi at arm’s length, much like Erwin had earlier in the tattoo shop, and asks, “Who - I mean… Was it -”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Erwin,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Levi chokes out before Hange can finish their question, his eyes closed, “I found Erwin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At </span>
  <em>
    <span>that,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hange practically screams, throwing their arms around Levi once more before </span>
  <em>
    <span>picking him up</span>
  </em>
  <span> and actually swinging him around the room. The action has Levi laughing in surprise as he holds on for dear life - Hange is lucky that he’s not physically assaulting them instead - before they finally put him down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit,” Hange’s rambling only increases once they part again, “Oh my god, I always thought, but I didn’t - oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Moblit owes me so much money and - </span>
  <em>
    <span>Levi,</span>
  </em>
  <span> I’m so happy for you, I can’t wait to see him, I have so many questions, I -” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stop, however, once they notice that Levi doesn’t seem as ecstatic as them and asks, “Hey - are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi swallows. Honestly, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> excited that he finally remembers, that he found Erwin, that he has Hange and Moblit and even </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ymir</span>
  </em>
  <span> in this life, but shit… it’s a lot. It’s a lot, and he never expected </span>
  <em>
    <span>Erwin</span>
  </em>
  <span> of all people to be his soulmate, and there’s still so much to unpack here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But maybe brainy Hange can help him figure it out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I -” he shakes his head, “Shit, I don’t know where to begin. I need a fucking drink.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, a few minutes later, Levi finds himself sitting next to Hange on the sofa, reminiscent of a night two years ago, when they sat in this very spot while Hange recounted memories of a past life that seemed almost too far-fetched to be true. So much has changed since then. Not only did Levi’s entire outlook on soulmates begin to change as soon as he realized that what Moblit and Hange had was </span>
  <em>
    <span>real,</span>
  </em>
  <span> but even the dynamic of their friendship shifted as well. Levi could tell when Hange was doing something or acting a certain way because of their memories, and more times than he can count, he found himself wishing that he could remember, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, two years later, not only does Moblit live with them - in fact, he should be home any time now - but Levi can’t imagine Hange without him. Now, Levi’s seated on the sofa, telling Hange about how he found </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>soulmate - Erwin </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span> Smith - at his own tattoo shop. And how it makes absolutely no sense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought soulmates were supposed to be… well, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>romantic</span>
  </em>
  <span> partner from a previous life, but Erwin and I - we weren’t… I mean, we were never </span>
  <em>
    <span>together,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Levi explains not long after they sit down, trying to make sense of it all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hange hums thoughtfully. “But something was </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span>, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi shakes his head. “Shit, Hange. He was my best friend, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>no.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Never anything like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not that he didn’t… consider it. Levi would be lying if he said that he didn’t think Erwin was an attractive man - hell, half of the Survey Corps and countless civilians found Erwin terrifyingly handsome - but that doesn’t mean that he wanted to pursue something with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He and Erwin </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> close. In fact, his relationship with Erwin rivaled the bond he had with Farlan and Isabel, but for entirely different reasons. Farlan and Isabel - they were like siblings to him. Family. When he lost them, it was like losing the only family that he had left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin… He was never like </span>
  <em>
    <span>family,</span>
  </em>
  <span> but that didn’t mean they weren’t close. It was just… </span>
  <em>
    <span>different.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He trusted Erwin with his life. He would follow Erwin into battle blind, no questions asked. If Erwin said jump, he asked how high. And it wasn’t because Levi was his guard dog or his </span>
  <em>
    <span>weapon</span>
  </em>
  <span> or whatever rumors people chose to believe. It was because Erwin won Levi’s trust and his friendship ages ago. Because Erwin </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> let him down. Because, no matter how much Erwin would insist that he was selfish, and manipulative and evil, he was one of the kindest, most selfless men Levi ever met. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin saw good in the world, and he made Levi want to fight for it. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sure, their relationship was probably a little unhealthy and absolutely co-dependent, but it was never romantic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if he or Erwin </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> that back then, it would have been impossible anyway. Hange should </span>
  <em>
    <span>know,</span>
  </em>
  <span> especially considering the fact that they and Moblit never had a chance to pursue their relationship back then. There wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>time</span>
  </em>
  <span> to worry about such things. Not only that, but Levi never allowed himself to get </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> close to anyone - not after Farlan and Isabel. Losing Erwin as he was was already hard enough. Levi can’t even begin to imagine if they were…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I mean, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved him,</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t you?” Hange asks at last, shaking Levi out of his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a question that he’s been asking himself ever since he left the shop, ever since he said goodbye to Erwin and started walking home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What they had… </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> it love? Was he that blind, that socially and emotionally inept that he just didn’t see it? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to need another drink before I answer that,” he mutters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hange fixes him with a gaze, and it’s a look that Levi knows from a lifetime ago. They’re looking for the truth. “I didn’t ask if you were </span>
  <em>
    <span>in</span>
  </em>
  <span> love with him,” they clarify, “Loving someone and being in love with them can be two different things, you know -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t</span>
  <em>
    <span> know,</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay?” Levi bites a little too aggressively. He pauses, reigning himself in a little before adding, “Shit, Hange,</span>
  <em>
    <span> you know.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It’s not like - I didn’t - we never had the time for dumb shit like this. It’s not like I was in the barracks at night trying to figure out who I had a </span>
  <em>
    <span>crush</span>
  </em>
  <span> on. Hell, even you and Moblit -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but we always </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hange interrupts gently, “If things were different back then…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well then I </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t know,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Levi mutters, defeated. He sighs, looking down at his hands, trying to come up with the right things to say, and after a moment, he adds, “I mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I loved him. I loved </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> of you guys - shit, I thought that was obvious -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, I love you too, Levi,” Hange murmurs, cutting him off before he can begin rambling or say too much. They pull him into another embrace before he can protest, and when they part, Hance asks, voice gentle. “So you </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> have feelings for him… back then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi still doesn’t know how to answer that. Was it something that he had repressed? Was it hidden deep down in his subconscious? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t - I don’t know,” Levi replies, defeated. “Like I said, I didn’t have time to think about shit like that. Hell, I’ve been thinking about it ever since I remembered, and I still don’t -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to have it all figured out,” Hange suggests with a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi sighs. “I mean, non-romantic soulmates exist, </span>
  <em>
    <span>right?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Like, platonic-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi…” Hange interrupts gently, “I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you kept his tie, after he died… that sounds pretty damn romantic to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jesus,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Levi mutters in response, “Just - shut up. I don’t - I have a lot to think about, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He forgot about </span>
  <em>
    <span>that,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and while he’d argue that it </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> romantic, Hange’s comment has him thinking that </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he still has a lot of shit to unpack, here. Someone doesn’t just end up your soulmate for no reason, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know,” Hange murmurs, patting his knee. “How about I get you another beer, and we’ll try to be wasted by the time Moblit gets home - sound good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi sighs, deflating a little. “Sounds fucking great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that, Hange is springing up from the sofa and heading back into the kitchen. As they rummage around in the fridge, Levi remembers something that they said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Hange?” he calls out, earning a hum from across the room. “You mentioned that Moblit owes you money - were you </span>
  <em>
    <span>seriously</span>
  </em>
  <span> betting on this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hange barks out a loud laugh. “I mean, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> they admit as they settle back down on the couch with two beers in hand, “Although </span>
  <em>
    <span>technically</span>
  </em>
  <span>, all of us kind of had a running bet on you two, even back then…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi raises his eyebrows. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“What?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He bites, his voice coming out as a sharp hiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, don’t hurt me...” Hange warns. They hold Levi’s beer hostage as they speak, pulling it back just out of his reach. “But we - me, Moblit, Mike, Nanaba, oh god I think even Petra and some of the others - we were all betting on when you and Erwin were going to hook up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My own </span>
  <em>
    <span>squad?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Levi nearly yells, which only spurs Hange onward and has them laughing, scooting backwards on the couch, “Hange - I’m gonna fucking kill you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey - I’m telling you because I love you!” Hange insists, leaping up from the couch to avoid Levi’s wrath, “I’m just saying, it’s worth a shot!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi rolls his eyes, “Well, apparently we’re both emotionally constipated idiots, so you’re losing your bet. Give me my beer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only if you promise not to assault me,” Hange says with a pout, then quickly adds, “And just give it time, I’m playing the long game here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“The long game,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Levi deadpans. He snatches his beer from Hange’s grasp and takes a long swig. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well… </span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hange replies with a shrug, “He isn’t your soulmate for no reason - I say give it a shot. What’s the worst that could happen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hange is… well, they’re right, probably, but it’s not what Levi wants to hear right now. Because </span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he was ecstatic to remember Erwin, to be reunited with him after so long, after he was torn away from them too early - after Levi made that decision to let him die - but </span>
  <em>
    <span>soulmates?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sure, Levi loved Erwin. Hell, it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> he made the choice to let him go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But was he </span>
  <em>
    <span>in love</span>
  </em>
  <span> with him?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Different Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please enjoy today's installment of Levi trying to sort through all of these new emotions...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>The top shelf tumbles and the wall clocks run<br/>The well scotch bottles and the soda guns<br/>You missed the last train from the city tonight<br/>Old friends see each other in a different, different light</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>- <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/2rSgzj1Yk2QSgPHuWb5Nh0?si=AGfcygE9TOy_wcQdcIEE_g">Last Train</a> - The Midnight</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Levi rolls over with a groan when he wakes late the next morning, judging by the way the sun is shining in through the blinds. He feels groggy and hungover and </span>
  <em>
    <span>tired </span>
  </em>
  <span>and he attributes that to the fact that Hange made good on their promise to be fucked up by the time Moblit got home the night before. After Moblit walked through the door and realized that Levi </span>
  <em>
    <span>remembered,</span>
  </em>
  <span> the drinking only continued well into the night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When did they finally go to bed? Maybe three? Four?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Jesus.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Willing his eyes open despite the blinding sunlight and his already raging headache, Levi reaches out for his phone on his bedside table to check the time and nearly sits up straight when he realizes it’s already well past noon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That, and he has a text message from Erwin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sent nearly two hours ago, the message is brief, but long enough that Levi can’t read the entirety of it without opening it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, it’s Erwin,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> it reads, and Levi rolls his eyes in response because </span>
  <em>
    <span>he knows.</span>
  </em>
  <span> They exchanged numbers yesterday and he made sure to save Erwin’s name in his phone. It’s endearing, though. It also serves as concrete proof that </span>
  <em>
    <span>yesterday happened.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He isn’t going crazy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the message says, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m not sure what your schedule looks like this week, but if you would still like to, I’d love to grab a drink. My treat.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi finally sits up as he begins composing a text back to Erwin, all while thinking to himself how much </span>
  <em>
    <span>easier</span>
  </em>
  <span> their past lives would have been if they had access to cell phones. Technology. Thank fuck he wasn’t reincarnated into some dystopian future. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Only a minute later, he shoots a quick text back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah. I actually have the next couple of days off, if you’re free.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And by the time Levi finally pulls himself out of bed, he has plans to get drinks with Erwin the following night, despite the fact that drinking </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> makes him want to be sick right now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He mentions the plans in passing to Hange, who, in their defense, </span>
  <em>
    <span>tries</span>
  </em>
  <span> not to act like a giddy teenager, but still practically squeals at the development. Their excitement is met with an eye roll and Levi insisting that they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>“just going to catch up,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>but that doesn’t stop Hange from pleading with him to share </span>
  <em>
    <span>all of the details</span>
  </em>
  <span> when he gets home. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next evening arrives quickly, and before he knows it, Levi is catching an Uber uptown to some small, hip little hole-in-the-wall bar he’s never heard of before. He doesn’t dress up, necessarily, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t think about what he was wearing before he left the house, and upon stepping inside, he’s suddenly glad that he did. The bar is certainly a different speed than the dives and shitty pubs that he’s used to frequenting with Hange</span>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Illuminated by warm, ambient lighting that almost looks like a crackling campfire, the place feels more like a rustic cabin than a bar, with unique artwork hanging from the walls and the barback lined with countless books and odd trinkets. Above the hand-carved barback hangs a white screen, lit up by a projector, which appears to be playing a black and white film that Levi </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> isn’t familiar with, and with a snort, he finds himself wondering if </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> is the kind of place that Erwin regularly visits. It’s not half bad - and it’s thankfully very quiet on a weekday night - but he’d definitely stick out like a sore thumb in just jeans and a well-worn band t-shirt, and he suddenly feels glad that he opted for a simple henley and a black leather jacket. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi glances around, but quickly realizes that he must have arrived before Erwin, so with a deep breath, he approaches the bar and orders a drink. And if he thought that the decor and atmosphere were a little </span>
  <em>
    <span>much,</span>
  </em>
  <span> then the drink menu is something else entirely. He doesn’t recognize any of the craft beers on tap, and instead of trying one of them, he opts for a cocktail - something flowery with gin and frankly too many ingredients to count - then leans back against the bartop, making himself comfortable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s then that Levi finally spies a tall head of blonde hair walking through the front door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin catches his gaze almost immediately, a smile spreading across his face as he crosses the room to meet him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi,” he says in the form of a greeting, “Sorry I’m late, I hope you haven’t been waiting long -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not,” Levi replies with a shrug, “I just got here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin hums, his eyes lingering on Levi for a long moment before he eventually turns his attention to the drink menu. “It’s good to see you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Levi mutters in response, “You too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t take long for Erwin to order a drink, and shortly after, he suggests moving to one of the booths on the far end of the room so they can catch up. Just a few minutes later, Levi finds himself running a finger along the hand-carved edge of the table, taking in the bar from a new angle. He can sense Erwin’s eyes on him before he speaks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you ever been here before?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi shakes his head in response. “Nah, I don’t really find myself on this side of town too often.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In return, Erwin offers him a sheepish smile, apparently picking up on Levi’s first impression of the bar. “I know, it’s a little…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hipster? Bougie?” Levi offers with a teasing smile. “It’s fine. It’s better than downtown. I can barely hear myself think in half of those shitholes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin laughs, “I figured it would be a little more your speed. That, and a little quieter, since I’m sure we have a lot of catching up to do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi huffs out a breath of air through his nose. “That’s an understatement.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wasting no time, Erwin leans forward slightly on the table. “So - you said you live in the area?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Levi wants to laugh and tell him that this feels like an awkward first date, but Erwin is </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and he can’t fault him for that. It does feel surreal, though, sitting here across from Erwin, talking like a couple of old friends, separated by years apart. Realistically, that’s kind of what this is, too. It’s so </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> from their first meeting </span>
  <em>
    <span>back then.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Certainly much calmer. And Levi doesn’t want to kill him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> snort out a little laugh at that thought, but decides not to voice it for now, instead opting for answering Erwin’s question. “Yeah, my apartment is about a fifteen minute walk from the shop. It’s nothing special but… I like it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin offers Levi a smile in response. “That’s good to hear.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about you?” Levi asks, suddenly curious, because it would honestly be a little hilarious if Erwin lived just down the street and they never crossed paths. “I assume you live around here too?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not quite as close,” Erwin answers after taking a swig of his beer. “I’m actually in Boulder. I teach at the university, so -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course you do,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Levi interrupts with a snort, “I shouldn’t be surprised.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi can’t help but think of countless late nights in Erwin’s office, of those brief moments when they allowed themselves to wonder </span>
  <em>
    <span>what if.</span>
  </em>
  <span> What if they won the war against the titans? What would they do afterward? Their answers always changed, but one passion remained the same for Erwin: Education. Whether he would mention settling down and becoming a teacher, or exploring the world outside the walls to learn more, he would always insist that knowledge gave people strength and courage and power, and that belief stemmed from his upbringing - his father. Levi is unsurprised that he followed the same path this time around. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin chuckles at Levi’s response. “It </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> make sense, doesn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In return, Levi continues with his teasing. “So, let me guess - you teach history or some shit?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do,” Erwin answers with a smile, “Human history and reincarnation. Am I </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> predictable?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, I just know you,” Levi offers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah,</span>
  </em>
  <span> that’s true. In fact, Levi probably knew Erwin better than most people. When others saw a cruel, heartless man who would gladly throw away the lives of others to meet his end goal, Levi saw a driven, brilliant leader who wanted to free humanity from their cage, who remembered the name of every single cadet that died under his command, who, up until the very end, still signed each and every one of their death certificates. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew Erwin’s hopes, his fears and even his dreams. He knew when the other man needed support and guidance and someone to bring him down a peg and put him in his place, and he knew when Erwin was onto something great, when he needed to be left to his own devices.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sometimes, he thought, he knew Erwin better than he knew himself. Is that why they ended up as soulmates? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shaking the thought from his head, Levi decides to steer the question away from </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> subject. “So, you’re telling me that you’ve lived about half an hour away for…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Since I was a child,” Erwin answers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi scoffs. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Jesus.</span>
  </em>
  <span> So, we’ve lived in the same state since we were kids, and we’ve just now found each other. Go figure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a good thing I wanted a tattoo,” Erwin muses, “Although to be honest, I never would have expected to find you making a living as a tattoo artist…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Too much face to face interaction with other people?” Levi asks and Erwin nods, a teasing smile pulling at his lips. “Yeah, it’s kind of weird in retrospect, but I - I really love it, actually. It gives me the freedom to do what I want. To be creative. Plus, it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>clean.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now it’s Erwin’s turn to chuckle. “Always a priority.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Absolutely,” Levi mutters, taking a sip of his drink. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A beat of silence goes by before Erwin asks, “So you grew up here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not in the city, but yeah,” Levi answers. Realizing that now is his chance to work his </span>
  <em>
    <span>roommate</span>
  </em>
  <span> into the conversation, he swallows, then quickly adds, “Actually, I uh - I grew up with Hange. We’ve been friends since we were kids.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The admission is worth the wide-eyed look of shock on Erwin’s face. It’s not often that he can catch the other man by surprise, so Levi takes it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hange?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Erwin asks, voice quiet, breathless, as if he doesn’t quite believe it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep,” Levi replies with a breathy laugh. “Can’t get rid of their annoying ass, even in this life. We live together.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Erwin finds Levi’s smartass remark funny, he doesn’t react to it. Instead, it seems like he’s still processing the news as he asks, “Do they - I mean, have they -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They found Moblit about two years ago,” Levi answers, “So yeah, they remember.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow…” Erwin muses, “What a small world.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Truly,” Levi says with a laugh. “Honestly, I’m kind of grateful to have them around.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know how you feel,” Erwin replies, a smile finding its way onto his face once more, “I work with Mike.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Now,</span>
  </em>
  <span> it’s Levi’s turn to be surprised.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Seriously?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he asks, leaning forward in his seat, the surprise probably written clear as day on his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin laughs at his response, and it’s this bright, carefree, relieved thing. It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>new.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sure, Erwin laughed in their past life, but something about this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>different. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It’s different than sitting in his office, making shitty jokes to get him to crack a smile because the last few days have been stressful as hell. It feels… well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>easier.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>And unbeknownst to Levi, it begins to crack something open in his chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, seriously,” Erwin replies. “The past few days have been eventful, to say the least. He and Nanaba -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jesus,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Levi mutters, shaking his head, “Of course. None of them can keep it in their fucking pants, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin barks out a surprised laugh at Levi’s somewhat crude comment. “I suppose not. He and Nanaba are married - they’ve known each other since they were teenagers. We met once I accepted a position at the university…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long ago was that?” Levi asks. Erwin looks the same as he did in a past life, but he can’t help but feel a little curious about his age.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I started when I was twenty-seven,” Erwin answers, “So we’ve known each other for about five years now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did he tell you?” Levi asks, “I mean, back when you -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin understands what he’s asking before he finishes his question. “Not immediately, no,” he replies, “But eventually, over drinks one night, it came out. He seemed a little hesitant at first, to divulge too much information about our past life, but now I understand why…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, you’re telling me,” Levi mutters. To say that their past lives were unkind to them would be an understatement. Hange had definitely been a little more upfront with the details when Levi asked them about it two years ago, but he’s not surprised at Mike’s reservations, especially considering everything that Erwin went through. And Mike doesn’t even know half of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t want to focus on </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> right now, though, and quickly decides to redirect the conversation, musing, “Guess the whole gang’s back together…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin is perceptive and Levi </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> that he probably picks up on his deliberate shift in topic, but he doesn’t mention it. Instead, he just smiles and says, “Mike is already very excited to see you - he’ll be ecstatic to know that Hange and Moblit are around too. We all should get together soon, if you’d like.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Levi replies quickly, “I’d really like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a break in the conversation, allowing Levi to finish the rest of his cocktail, and Erwin takes it as a cue to step away for just a moment. “Would you like another drink? I </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> say it was my treat, but since you got here early -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” Levi interrupts, “That’s fine. I don’t remember the dumbass name, but it’s the one with gin.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin huffs out a laugh, a fond smile spreading across his face as he stands from the table. “You got it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi watches as Erwin approaches the bar with their two empty glasses, and as he does, he can’t help but find this entire situation a little surreal. Even though the dust has had some time to settle over the past couple of days, it’s still strange, sitting across from Erwin in some hip, dimly lit bar feeling completely </span>
  <em>
    <span>comfortable</span>
  </em>
  <span> with his current life while still remembering </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> from a past one. It’s almost unsettling, how </span>
  <em>
    <span>easy</span>
  </em>
  <span> things feel now compared to before - how they can go out for drinks like this without worrying about a run-in with the Military Police or what the next day has in store for them or stressing about their next expedition outside the walls. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s relieving, sure, but it’s… well, it’s complicated, and not just the matter of past lives and reincarnation and remembering everything. It’s the </span>
  <em>
    <span>soulmate</span>
  </em>
  <span> aspect of this. It’s the fact that Erwin, the man standing just across the room, ordering their drinks, is apparently the person he is meant to spend the rest of his life with. The struggles of their past life aside, </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> what has been bothering Levi the most over the past few days.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Erwin returns with their drinks, he makes it apparent that he feels the same way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He allows Levi to take a sip of his drink, relaxing into his seat a bit before he clears his throat and says, voice careful and calculated - like a Commander, once again, “I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit since the other day...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi simply raises his eyebrows in response, his drink still halfway to his lips as if to silently ask, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know we already discussed this a bit, but I would like to make myself clear,” Erwin continues. It seems as if their methods of communication are still intact - Erwin can still easily read his non-verbal cues. “I don’t want you to feel pressured into pursuing anything between us, Levi. I know that we were certainly </span>
  <em>
    <span>close</span>
  </em>
  <span> in our past life, and I’m incredibly grateful to have found you in this lifetime, but the last thing that I want to do is force something just because -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re good,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Levi cuts him off before he can finish, partially because he understands where he’s coming from and partially because frankly, it’s painful to listen to him trying to navigate his way around explicitly saying, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“We don’t have to date just because we’re soulmates.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I get it. Trust me,” Levi continues, “I mean, </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Erwin… I was definitely surprised that it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>you,</span>
  </em>
  <span> but I’m also kind of grateful that it was, too - that we can remember. I’m glad we found each other.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Levi has concluded </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> over the past couple of days, it’s that if it was going to be anyone, he’s glad that it’s Erwin. He’s glad that he has a strong partner in this - someone who actually gets him… someone who knew him better than anyone else. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am as well,” Erwin admits, “And there are countless cases of platonic, non-romantic soulmates - this definitely isn’t unheard of, by any means. I just - well, I don’t want you to feel that this has to be romantic.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Unless we want it to be,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Levi finds himself thinking in response, and -</span>
</p>
<p><span>Oh.</span> <span>That was unexpected.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>He swallows the thought down, buries it away and manages to mutter, “Thanks. I mean - this isn’t awkward for me, if it isn’t for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not at all,” Erwin assures with a smile, “Like I said, Levi, I’m glad to have you in my life. To be able to remember - it’s a gift, truly.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, same,” Levi mutteers, “You’ve always been better with words than me, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>agreed.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And he tries not to think about the feeling in his chest when Erwin laughs at his comment. He tries not to think about the way that Erwin’s eyes look in the dim light, or how refreshing it is to see him in </span>
  <em>
    <span>civilian</span>
  </em>
  <span> clothes - a dark overcoat, slacks and a nice pair of shoes - or the fact that he keeps looking at his right arm like he thinks it’ll disappear at any moment. He tries not to think about the warm feeling he gets when he realizes that Erwin is doing so</span>
  <em>
    <span> well</span>
  </em>
  <span> this time around - that even now, he seems a lot warmer, a lot happier, but no less ambitious and eager to learn. Life has been much more kind to Erwin this time around, and Levi can’t help but think that he earned this. He deserves this, this time around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(And part of him, deep down, buried under an encyclopedia of emotions that Levi has yet to sort through, can’t help but feel a little bit guilty that Erwin got stuck with him yet again.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As they sit together in the bar, talking about their jobs, their hometowns and their upbringing in this lifetime, Levi tries not to think that this certainly </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> feel like a first date, even if Erwin insists that it’s not. And he tries to ignore the fact that he’d be strangely okay with it, if it were. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Erwin offers to drive Levi home again at the end of the night, Levi almost declines, asking, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Isn’t that a little out of the way?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> but Erwin insists and honestly, he doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to say no. So their evening - their date, their reunion, a casual drink with an old friend, whatever you want to call it - ends in front of Levi’s apartment in Erwin’s car. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll have to talk to Mike and Nanaba, but if you’re free sometime next week, we should get everyone together for dinner,” Erwin says, glancing at Levi in the passenger seat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds good to me,” Levi - </span>
  <em>
    <span>Levi,</span>
  </em>
  <span> who hasn’t been able to stop thinking about the next time they’ll see each other the whole car ride home - says in response. “I’m sure Hange will lose their shit as soon as I tell them, so count us in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great,” Erwin replies, voice light and… well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He looks </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy</span>
  </em>
  <span> right now, even in the dim light of his vehicle, and Levi thinks once more than Erwin deserves this life, that he’s grateful to share this with him. “I’ll talk to them and give you a call tomorrow, if that works.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi nods. “Thanks for the ride. And the drinks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, Levi.” Erwin offers him a warm smile, “It was wonderful catching up. Have a great rest of your night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, you too,” Levi mutters. And then, before he can even begin to think that, if this </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> a date, this is when they’d kiss, he quickly unbuckles his seatbelt and steps out of the car. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi stands on the sidewalk in front of his apartment, staring blankly down the city street long after Erwin drives away. Longer than he’d care to admit. And somehow, when he steps back inside that night, he feels more perplexed about their situation than he did before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s… complicated. It’s complicated, because it fills Levi with joy to see Erwin </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy</span>
  </em>
  <span> this time around. Because Erwin doesn’t have to sacrifice pieces of himself for the good of humanity, for classist pigs who don’t give a shit about him, who couldn’t care less who lives or dies or if the walls fall. Seeing Erwin thriving in this life </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> something to Levi, because this is something that deep down, they knew they could never have in their past life. It went unspoken, but they always knew they’d never live long enough to see the demolition of the walls or humanity’s freedom. They knew that they were just a stepping stone, just the beginning, just a piece of the puzzle, of the bigger picture. If only they knew then what they do now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But now… now, Erwin - </span>
  <em>
    <span>both of them - </span>
  </em>
  <span>have a chance to truly </span>
  <em>
    <span>live</span>
  </em>
  <span> this time around, and as Levi watches Erwin drive away at the end of the night, he can’t help but wonder if </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> is what they were fighting for. And if so, what would his past self tell him? What should he do with the time that has been given to him now? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In a past life, he fought for humanity. At least, that’s what he told the aristocats and politicians and even the young, bright-eyed cadets on their first day of training and the scared soldiers when they’d return from their first expedition behind the walls. That’s what he even told himself as the years went on and his body count multiplied, and he found himself fighting other humans more than titans, as he quickly learned that the world was much larger than they initially thought, that things weren’t always so bllack and white. At the end of the day, they were fighting for something bigger than themselves - they were fighting for the good of humanity. And for Levi, that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>partially</span>
  </em>
  <span> true, but honestly, deep down, he knew that he was always fighting for much more than that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was fighting for Erwin. Erwin, the man who gave him a second chance at life, who didn’t see him as a street rat or a thug from the Underground or an Ackerman or a killer. Erwin just saw him as…</span>
  <em>
    <span> Levi.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He fought for Erwin, because Erwin saw the potential in him. Because Erwin gave him a chance, even when he pressed a blade up to his throat and threatened his life. Levi fought for </span>
  <em>
    <span>Erwin,</span>
  </em>
  <span> because Erwin gave him hope, because he stood for the freedom and happiness that humanity deserved… because he was too good for that cruel, fucked up world.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And now, it kind of feels like all of that fighting was worth it. In a sad, weird, bittersweet way, it feels like they actually won.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So now what?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now, apparently Erwin is his soulmate, and Levi still doesn’t quite know what to make of it, but it makes sense, he supposes. Romantic relationships were the last thing on Levi’s mind back then, but if he had a moment to breathe, a moment to think about it and a moment to choose, would he have chosen Erwin? They worked together so well in every other aspect of their lives, so would they work well romantically, too? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Levi steps back into his dark apartment that night, he can’t help but wonder if they would. If, given the chance, would they have ended up together back then? If Levi allowed himself to worry about such things, if they weren’t under the constant threat of death or war, would Levi want that?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Would Erwin?</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you all so much for all of the lovely comments and feedback so far! </p>
<p>This chapter was definitely just a lot of world building/some backstory, but I hope you enjoyed these two interacting some more and Levi ALMOST having his italicized <i>Oh.</i> moment. Soon. I promise. </p>
<p>I'm hoping to have the next update up soon!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Seasons Change</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>'Cause I've had friends that passed way too young</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I felt love that led me on too long</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Seasons change and so do you and I</em>
  <br/>
  <em>But you and I always find our way back together</em>
</p>
<p>- <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/77gipvI3N8oYcGNs411VIR?si=c09b42c04e2b4784">No Stress</a> - Tycho</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The darkness is heavy, like a weighted blanket. Levi tries to crawl his way out from under it, but the more he moves, the more weighed down he feels, the more all-encompassing it becomes. It’s unsettling, as if there’s an energy to it, like it’s alive. Like it’s breathing. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Levi is frozen to the spot. He tries to move, but his limbs feel like lead. They’re heavy and sluggish, and every time he struggles to put a foot forward, it feels like he’s moving backwards, like he’s underwater and the current is pulling him back. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He doesn’t even know where he’s going, really. He just knows that he needs to get out. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The darkness eventually lifts like a fog, but only enough that Levi can see a few feet in front of him. It’s enough to tell that he’s in a thick forest. Mossy trees twist and contort upwards endlessly, making it impossible to see the sky above, or even a light at the end of the woods. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s damp. The moisture hangs in the air, amplifying the energy and making everything around him feel heavy. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Part of Levi knows, deep down, it’s not water that soaks the dead leaves and grass and mud beneath his feet. It’s too thick, too sticky, too dark to be anything but blood. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He can practically taste the iron in his mouth. It surrounds him. It makes his hair stand on end. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Then, he feels the footsteps. They make the ground tremble, make his knees feel weak. Levi knows he needs to move - he needs to go up, up into the trees - but he can’t. He’s frozen to the spot, even as the footsteps get closer, even once he can hear the cracking of branches and smell the stench of death.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Then, he hears his name.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It sounds distant, far away, but the voice is unmistakable.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Erwin.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s Erwin. Erwin is calling his name. Screaming it. The sound chills Levi to his core, but still, he can’t move. He opens his mouth to call out for him in return, but nothing comes out.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Erwin keeps screaming. His cries are getting worse, and Levi can’t see him, can’t tell where it’s coming from. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The footsteps are getting louder. The screams, more desperate. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Dread fills Levi’s chest. Dread and fear, grief and remorse. It lodges up into the hollow of his throat, creates a void in his chest, makes his entire body feel numb, from his fingers to his toes. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And he knows, long before anything happens, that he won’t get to Erwin in time. That he’s too late.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The footsteps are almost on top of him now. Any moment, and -</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The screams stop.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The forest goes silent. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Everything goes black.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Levi wakes with a sharp gasp, heart racing, fingers clenched in the sheets, eyes searching wildly in the dark for something to hold onto, something to anchor him in the present. In the here and now. He searches for something to tell him that it was all a dream, that there isn’t a titan after him, that Erwin isn’t screaming for his help. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The streetlight outside the window casts a dim, yet warm glow throughout Levi’s room, and it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>warm light that eventually brings him back down to earth. He’s not in the forest. He’s not stuck in the past. He’s sitting upright in his bedroom, in his apartment, which he shares with Hange and Moblit, who are very much alive. He’s not about to die, and neither is Erwin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was just a dream. It wasn’t even a real memory, just a terrible nightmare.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi takes a deep breath, willing himself to calm down, and reaches out in the dark to glance at the time on his phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>5:45 AM.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His alarm isn’t set to go off until 8:30, but Levi knows that he won’t be able to fall back asleep. Not after </span>
  <em>
    <span>that,</span>
  </em>
  <span> so with a deep breath, he swings his legs over the edge of his bed and decides to head to the bathroom for a nice long, hot shower. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The nightmares were something else that nobody told him about. If Hange had them, they didn’t bring them up, at least not to Levi. Sure, he’s heard some horror stories about war veterans and victims with PTSD from a past life, but he never thought that something like that would happen to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To be fair, the nightmares haven’t been occurring regularly, and thankfully, the few nightmares that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> had so far have never been a full-on flashback to specific memories. They’re more like a jumbled mess of hazy memories, fears and whatever the hell Levi had been watching before bed the night prior. It’s difficult to decode, but still unsettling nonetheless. They fade away with time, and Levi knows that by the time he’s opening the tattoo shop, it’ll be nothing but a distant memory.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But right now, he can still hear Erwin screaming his name, even over the sound of running water. And he can’t help but wonder if that’s what he sounded like, right before he -</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi shakes the thought from his head and steps into the water. There’s no use worrying about that right now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rather than dwelling on his nightmare, Levi tries to use his extra time in the morning to do something productive, and by the time Hange emerges from their bedroom around 7am, he’s sitting at the kitchen table, drinking tea and fishing up a sketch for a future appointment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Holy shit, what are you doing up this early?” Hange asks as they shuffle into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from their eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment, Levi contemplates not telling them, pushing it down, forgetting about it. But honestly… he doesn’t want to fall into the same patterns from a past life. He has been doing a lot of reflecting after getting drinks with Erwin, and although he’s still not quite sure how to feel about a lot of things, he</span>
  <em>
    <span> is</span>
  </em>
  <span> determined not to take this second chance for granted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So, as Hange rummages around for a coffee cup, he mumbles, “Had a shitty dream. Couldn’t go back to sleep so I figured I’d get some work done.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can tell when Hange stops moving, and he’s sure that if he turned, he’d find them looking at him. He doesn’t turn. “Did it - I mean, was it from… you know. You wanna talk about it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their half-formed, half-awake questions earn a small smile from Levi, and after some time, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> turn to look at them when he speaks. “I mean… kind of? I don’t know, it’s a little hazy. I just remember a forest and footsteps from what I assume was a titan.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leaves out the part about Erwin. He might be trying this new </span>
  <em>
    <span>opening up to others</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing, but that doesn’t mean he wants to have a conversation about his Commander-turned-soulmate first thing in the morning. Thankfully, Hange doesn’t push the subject. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, shit. I’m sorry,” they mutter as they begin moving again. The coffee machine whirrs to life and Hange leans up against the counter. “You think you’ll still be good for dinner tonight?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Right. Dinner. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi’s mind has been elsewhere ever since he woke up, so it’s no surprise that he nearly forgot that they had plans to get dinner with Erwin, Mike and Nanaba as soon as Levi was finished with work tonight. He waves Hange off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good!” Hange exclaims, “God, I can’t wait to see them - it’s been so long…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi snorts, “Almost feels like a lifetime.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His comment earns a surprised laugh from Hange. “You know, I’m glad you have more of a sense of humor this time around.”</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Seeing Mike and Nanaba for the first time again is… well, it’s like seeing Erwin, and Hange and Moblit again after he remembered. It feels surreal, like they’ll all disappear if he blinks, like it’s too good to be true, like it’s just a good dream, and soon, he’ll wake up and it’ll all be over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Only, he doesn’t wake up, it’s not a dream and this is very much real. All of it. The past life, the titans, these people, even his life after they were all dead and gone. It was</span>
  <em>
    <span> all </span>
  </em>
  <span>real. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They meet Erwin, Mike and Nanaba at a small little street taco place near the university just around sunset, and they all share a tearful, heartwarming reunion outside the restaurant before they all walk inside. Hange practically leaps into Mike’s arms, then nearly tackles Nanaba to the ground, while Moblit balances them out with a warm, joyous, yet more reserved greeting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who would have thought…” Mike murmurs in lieu of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>“hello”</span>
  </em>
  <span> when Levi finally approaches him, unsure of what to say. Then, before Levi even has a chance to react, the taller man is pulling him into a tight, but not unwelcome embrace, all while Hange chatters on in the background.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re telling me!” they exclaim, “It’s a miracle that we’re all living in the same state - let alone only thirty minutes from each other!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike doesn’t immediately react to Hange, though. Instead, he pulls away from Levi, and in a low voice says, “It’s good to see you, Captain.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi swats at him before he can catch the look of joy on his face, muttering a half-hearted, “Shut the fuck up.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An hour later, the six of them find themselves seated in a large corner booth, reminiscing over shared memories and catching up on their current lives. It turns out that Nanaba is actually from California, and had been on a trip with her parents, visiting a family friend when she met Mike by chance. They were just teenagers back then, but thankfully, her parents were not only understanding, but unconditionally supportive, and after a year, they made the move to Colorado. Their happiness is contagious, although Levi can’t help but wonder what it was like to remember at such a young age. At least they had each other…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“True irony is explaining to someone who</span>
  <em>
    <span> studied</span>
  </em>
  <span> reincarnation that you knew each other in a past life and he doesn’t believe you,” Mike says later into the night, a few margaritas deep as he elbows Erwin playfully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hange nearly spits out their own drink laughing in response. “Are you kidding me? Come on, Erwin, how could you possibly be so dense?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi watches the way that the warm smile overtakes Erwin’s face, touching his eyes and even dimpling his cheeks a little. “To be fair, he waited until about a year into our friendship to tell me,” he argues in his defense, “I sincerely thought he was just messing with me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I kept telling Mike to come clean,” Nanaba mutters, rolling her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I kind of dropped the ball,” Mike admits, “It took a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> of convincing, to be honest…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span> look at us!” Hange exclaims, “We finally got the band back together!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi can’t help but groan at their over-excitement and the cheesy line, but it goes unnoticed by the majority of the group. At least, everyone but Erwin, who breathes a quiet laugh to his right.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They’re fucking cheesy,” Levi mutters by means of explanation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Some things never change,” Erwin offers in return, which has Levi snorting out a laugh of his own, shaking his head in response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I swear to god, they’re going to take five years off of my life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fairly certain you’ve said that before,” Erwin teases back, “You’ll be fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>god,</span>
  </em>
  <span> even as they sit together in the modern little mexican restaurant, Levi can’t help the wave of nostalgia that washes over him. Sure, there are quite a few integral members of their group missing, but with the six of them together, things actually feel fairly normal. Or, well, as normal as one can feel in regards to reincarnation and soulmates and all of </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> bullshit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s nice. It’s peaceful. It’s something that they </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> have in a past life, and Levi will take it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Later, when they’re standing outside in the parking lot, that thought hasn’t left Levi as he finds himself leaning up against Hange’s car, just </span>
  <em>
    <span>watching.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hange is deep in conversation with Erwin - something about reincarnation theory or some other nerdy shit - and when Moblit and Nanaba begin connecting over their shared experiences on the west coast, Mike decides to split off from the group as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi glances up as Mike approaches him, nodding his head in his direction. “Hey.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Mike echoes, a smile pulling on his lips. Once they’re close enough, he follows Levi’s gaze to their friends, then looks back at him. “Crazy, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi’s laugh is quiet and soft. Comfortable. “Yeah. Definitely weird meeting this way, that’s for sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, it’s sort of nice that our first encounter this time around doesn’t involve me kicking your ass,” Mike retorts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> kick my ass,” Levi bites back, glaring up at Mike with narrowed eyes. It’s all for show, of course, he’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> mad at the other man, but he plays the part. “You just had the upper hand.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike just smirks in response.</span>
  <em>
    <span> “Sure.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks the same, now - still the same tall, looming presence, same long, shaggy hair - but like Erwin, he carries himself with a little bit more ease. It’s relieving to see him like this, especially after </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> before. None of them got to say a proper goodbye to Mike. They never even really knew what </span>
  <em>
    <span>happened.</span>
  </em>
  <span> There wasn’t any closure for him and Erwin. But now…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, it’s kind of like beating a dead horse at this point, comparing their past lives with this one, but Levi can’t help it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Apparently, Mike feels the same way. “It’s surreal,” he comments, his gaze returning to their friends. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Levi murmurs, following his gaze to where Erwin and Hange stand, still deep in conversation, Moblit and Nanaba chiming in occasionally with smiles on their faces. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sometimes, it’s still hard to believe that we have everything here that we wanted before…” Mike musses, “Freedom. Happiness. A right to choose what we do with our lives…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi scoffs. “So you’re telling me that this feeling </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>go away?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope,” Mike mutters, “I mean obviously, it’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> on my mind, but nights like tonight? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Definitely. When Nan and I got married… </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit,</span>
  </em>
  <span> I wish you all could have been there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi glances up at Mike as he speaks, at the warm, faraway smile on his face. “Well, we’re here now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You are,” Mike says with a warm smile. “And when you’re ready, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to tell me how things ended, back then. I feel like I missed out on a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Probably for the best,” Levi mutters, crossing his arms over his chest. He’s not sure if he’s ready to talk about </span>
  <em>
    <span>how everything ended</span>
  </em>
  <span> quite yet, but when he is, these five friends will be the first to know.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s funny. In their past life, his friendship with Mike had a rocky start. It took a long time for Levi to gain the other man’s trust, for obvious reasons, but once he did, they had a strong bond as well. It was nothing like Levi’s relationship with Erwin, but he would still consider Mike one of his closest friends. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He lost count of the number of long talks that they shared after expeditions, as they tended to their horses or grabbed a bite to eat. It appears that some things haven’t changed this time around, as it still feels easy, talking with Mike now. Not easy enough to rip open the old wounds from a lifetime ago quite yet, but easy all the same. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure it was strange, remembering when you were just kids…” Levi breaks the silence after a few moments, watching the way that Mike looks at Nanaba with love in his eyes. He doesn’t want this conversation to take the dark turn that it just nearly did, but he doesn’t want to push Mike away either, so he settles on turning the topic to </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> life. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was,” he admits, “But it was also comforting, knowing that I was sharing that experience with someone else, having someone there who knew how I felt.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike turns his attention from Nanaba to Levi, a soft smile on his face. “I’m glad you and Erwin have each other in this life,” he continues, “You deserve it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His words catch Levi by surprise and he quickly scrambles to correct him. Sure, they have each other, but, “I’m not - I mean, </span>
  <em>
    <span>we’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> not -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Mike assures with a knowing smile before he can get the words out. “Whatever you have, it doesn’t matter. I’m just glad he has you, is all. I know how important you were to each other back then.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mike -” Levi starts, but doesn’t get the chance to finish.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, I know he couldn’t really… </span>
  <em>
    <span>dwell</span>
  </em>
  <span> on something as simple as love back then - neither could you,” Mike interrupts, “But we have the chance to, this time around. Just saying.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi simply raises his eyebrows in response, sure that Mike isn’t done talking and determined not to let his surprise or curiosity show. Underneath the facade, though, he wonders what brought this on. Did Erwin say something to Mike? Or was Mike still just as observant as ever? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike shrugs, shaking Levi out of his thoughts. “Not telling you what to do,” he insists, “Just… I’m happy for you two. That’s all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi lets out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding in response, and, before he can stop himself, mutters a soft, “Thanks, Mike.”</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>The next few weeks are… </span>
  <em>
    <span>busy</span>
  </em>
  <span> to say the least. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi’s books are completely full with tattoo appointments, follow-ups and consultations, to the point that he has to go into the shop for half-days on a few of his regular days off, but it pays the bills, so he can’t complain. Similarly, Erwin and Mike find themselves busy preparing for finals, so after their dinner with friends, they don’t have the time to see each other again for a while. Although Hange and Moblit find the time to grab coffee with Erwin one afternoon and dinner with Mike and Nanaba over the weekend, Levi doesn’t have plans to see Erwin again until his quickly approaching tattoo appointment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That doesn’t mean that they stop talking, though. Instead, their communication falls to text messages. It starts when Levi is finalizing some of the details of Erwin’s tattoo and decides to send a few of the rough drafts his way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ve got three different variations for you,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Levi writes underneath the images, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“It depends on how much detail you want and if you want a border around it.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The three sketches are all relatively similar, but varying in style, detail and shape. The first is just a simplistic sketch of a mountain scene, not much detail but beautiful nonetheless. The second introduces more detail into the foreground and background, with the edges fading away nicely. It would make for a nice start to a full sleeve, if that’s what Erwin wants, but something tells Levi that might be moving a little too fast, so the third sketch adds a diamond-shaped border around the image, cleaning it up nicely and making it look like one singular piece. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin is quick to reply less than five minutes later, and Levi can practically read it in his voice. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“They all look great,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he responds, then in a separate message, he writes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re the artist, Levi. I’ll trust your decision.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi can’t help but roll his eyes in response. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah, well it’s on your body for the rest of your life, so choose.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully, Erwin doesn’t give him any more grief, and after a minute, replies with, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I like the diamond border around the third one. It’s clean and elegant, and I suppose it leaves room for other tattoos, if I decide get any more.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi smiles. That was his favorite, too. Thank god Erwin has good taste. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Cool,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he responds, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Full color, right?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Definitely.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few days later, Levi sends another draft Erwin’s way. This time, the sketch has been outlined in black ink. It looks much cleaner, a little more</span>
  <em>
    <span> final</span>
  </em>
  <span> aside from a few details that Levi still needs to add. His caption reads, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Night scene or daytime?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin responds almost immediately.</span>
  <em>
    <span> “Oh, I hadn’t thought of that…”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I mean, if you were planning on other tattoos, you could always do both eventually,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Levi replies after a moment to think.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t want to get too ahead of myself, haha,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Erwin shoots back. Then, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I think daytime would look nice. Maybe sunset? It would give you more to work with in terms of color.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A man after his own heart. Levi had initially planned on a sunset scene, but wanted Erwin’s input. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That, and he wanted an excuse to text him, if he’s being completely honest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Levi can dwell too much on </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> fleeting thought, he types out a quick response, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Sounds good.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He assumes that that’s the end of their conversation, too, and sets his phone down to resume working on the piece until, only a few seconds later, it buzzes next to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sighing, Levi glances down at his device, his eyebrows raising just a little bit when he spies another message from Erwin on his screen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“How was your day?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s such a simple message, but for some reason, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> something to Levi. Maybe it’s because, up until this very moment, most of their text messages have been all business - Levi sending sketches over to Erwin and Erwin giving his input - but this… this is certainly more casual. It’s stupid, really. Levi shouldn’t be so taken aback by the simple text, from someone he has </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> been close with, but he is.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And that’s fucking embarassing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, it doesn’t stop him from setting his pen down and shooting a quick text back to Erwin. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Not bad, you?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> how they fall into a routine. It goes unspoken, but without fail for the next few days, Erwin begins to text Levi out of the blue. Sometimes it’s as simple as telling him to have a good day at work and occasionally, it’s Erwin telling Levi a funny story about something Mike did, but eventually, they fall into a routine. Quickly, before he even realizes that it’s happening, Levi begins to reach out to Erwin first, sending a sketch of the tattoo he’ll be doing later that afternoon or teasing Erwin about </span>
  <em>
    <span>“having to deal with brats all day”</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Before he knows what’s happening, they’re talking every single day, and it feels -</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, it feels </span>
  <em>
    <span>right. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It feels natural. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In fact, by the time that Erwin’s tattoo appointment finally arrives, Levi feels like they’ve caught up more within just the past few weeks, without even </span>
  <em>
    <span>seeing</span>
  </em>
  <span> one another, than they did in those first few meetings. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, it’s refreshing to lay eyes on the other man when he steps foot into his shop again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, since this is your first tattoo, I’ll give you the same run-down that I give everyone else,” Levi explains once Erwin is sitting in the chair in front of him, arm stretched out on the armrest. Levi takes the tracing paper with his sketch on it and holds it over Erwin’s forearm in various angles as he speaks, trying to find just the </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span> placement for the tattoo. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll probably just do the outline today, since this is a pretty big piece and it’s going to cover much of your forearm,” Levi continues. “I’m going to start at your wrist and work my way up to the ditch of your elbow. I’ll be honest, those two spots are pretty sensitive, so if you need a break at all, just let me know. Don’t try to act all tough - I’ll see right through you. Got it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks up at Erwin, then, who flashes a small smile at him in response. Something tells Levi that he wants to bite something sarcastic back in return - something along the lines of, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re forgetting that I lost this arm in a past life, Levi, I can handle it” -</span>
  </em>
  <span> but he doesn’t. Instead, he just fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>smiles</span>
  </em>
  <span> and repeats back to Levi, “Got it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So Levi can’t help but feel just a </span>
  <em>
    <span>little</span>
  </em>
  <span> bit of satisfaction when, fifteen minutes later, he finally puts the needle to skin and can </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> Erwin tensing beneath him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of teasing him about it, though, Levi decides to just make small talk. It’s quiet in the shop - Erwin’s appointment is on a Thursday evening, and many of the other artists have already gone home for the night - so their conversation feels comfortable. Easy. Intimate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So…” Levi starts as he concentrates on making clean, straight lines on Erwin’s forearm, “You said the tattoo was for your dad, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin closes his eyes and tips his head back against the chair’s headrest when he speaks. “I did,” he replies easily, “My father was the one who inspired me to go into teaching. He was a professor, as well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I see,” Levi murmurs. He wants to point out that Erwin’s father seemed to follow a similar path in this life, as well, be he holds that back for now. Instead, he asks, “So how do the mountains come into play then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he glances up, he doesn’t miss the warm smile that falls on Erwin’s lips, then, as if he’s recalling a fond memory at Levi’s question. “Well, we would go backpacking every summer when I was a kid,” he answers, “Just me and him. It was our little tradition… before he passed away.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Judging by their previous conversations and the fact that Erwin has rarely mentioned his father, despite him playing such a large role in his life before, Levi had a feeling that those words were coming - </span>
  <em>
    <span>“before he passed away” </span>
  </em>
  <span>- but it still hits hard. Levi knows how much Erwin’s father influenced him before, he knows that everything Erwin did, he did for his father, that if he ever had the chance, he’d bring him back in a heartbeat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So to lose him before he even remembered… Levi can’t even begin to imagine how it must feel now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He quickly realizes that he hasn’t said anything in response yet, and swallows thickly, glancing up at Erwin’s face for just a split second to find him still relaxed, still peaceful. “When did he -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin’s eyes open.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was sixteen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit -” Levi breathes. He takes a moment to pause, the tattoo gun still humming quietly between them, but he doesn’t trust himself enough to put the needle to Erwin’s skin right now. “Erwin… I know how much he meant to you back then, I -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Erwin assures, offering Levi a gentle smile. “It’s funny… I decided that it was time to get this tattoo because I felt that I had finally come to terms with his passing -  and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>- but with these memories, so much has changed…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fuck, </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m sorry,” Levi chokes out. It’s irrational, really, but he can’t help but feel a little guilty for not finding Erwin sooner. If only Erwin could have had that time with his father after he remembered… If only Levi could have been there to tell him what was in the basement and what challenges they faced after he was long gone. If Erwin’s father was anything like him, he would have been fascinated by their discoveries and morbidly curious about how it all came to an end. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But to his surprise, Erwin simply shakes his head in response, his smile never wavering.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be sorry,” he insists, “It’s not your fault.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi huffs out a humorless laugh, taking a moment to dip the needle back in the ink as a way to avoid Erwin’s knowing gaze. “I mean…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then, it’s Erwin’s turn to laugh. It’s a breathy chuckle, but a laugh nonetheless. “What I’m trying to say is that it’s… </span>
  <em>
    <span>comforting,</span>
  </em>
  <span> knowing that I had more time with him this time around, even if I didn’t know it before what I know now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi exhales a breath that he didn’t know he was holding, alongside a soft, “Oh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For the record, I’d rather remember…” Erwin offers gently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And in response, Levi can’t help but murmur, “Yeah, me too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Although tense for just a brief moment, the conversation becomes a bit… </span>
  <em>
    <span>easier</span>
  </em>
  <span> after the subject of Erwin’s father comes up. Levi can tell that Erwin isn’t just faking it, that he really does seem </span>
  <em>
    <span>at ease</span>
  </em>
  <span> discussing his father’s passing, both last time and this time around, and Levi finds himself thinking for the hundredth time, that he’s grateful that they have this second chance. They never really had any sense of closure in their past life… never got to say goodbye to those they cared about the most, not even to each other. So this, while it’s difficult to come to terms with, it’s welcome. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s also good to know that, after everything they’ve been through, after an entire lifetime together, they still seem to get along just as well as they did before. Even when there isn’t a war to fight or an expedition to plan, Levi finds that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be around Erwin. He wants to talk to him and make new memories and enjoy </span>
  <em>
    <span>this life</span>
  </em>
  <span> with him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So as Levi tattoos Erwin, the conversation becomes a bit lighter, a bit easier. They talk about Erwin’s upbringing, his parents, his favorite places to hike and camp, and what inspired him to become a teacher. Levi finds himself drinking up everything Erwin says, so he’s caught off guard when, about an hour into the tattoo, Erwin says, “We’ve done quite a bit of talking about me and not much about you. I feel like we still have so much catching up to do…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi huffs out a half-laugh, but doesn’t look up at Erwin in response. Instead, he focuses on the delicate outline of the mountain scene before him. “Well, we’ve got plenty of time,” he replies, “What do you wanna know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin doesn’t say anything at first, and Levi doesn’t have to look up to know that the other man is staring at him. His gaze feels just as heavy in this life as it did before. He doesn’t stare long, though, before he finally says, “I know you mentioned that you grew up in the area - is your family -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Didn’t know my dad,” Levi answers before he can finish the question. “He died, before I was born. But yeah, my mom’s still around - she lives up north, near Fort Collins.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s - </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m glad, Levi,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Erwin replies almost immediately, his voice warm, “I know how much -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Levi cuts Erwin off again before he can say anything else. The last thing he wants is to get emotional or lose his cool while tattooing him, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> what Erwin is getting at. After all, Erwin was one of the few people who knew about Levi’s mother. He was one of the only people that Levi ever told about her, and he can remember the conversation like it was yesterday, sitting in the Commander’s office. The words had just bubbled up and spilled out before Levi could control them because, whether he wanted to admit it or not back then, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>trusted</span>
  </em>
  <span> Erwin. He wanted to share that piece of himself with the other man. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shakes that memory from his head, though, focusing on the tattoo in front of him instead as a way to rein in his emotions. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m…</span>
  <em>
    <span> grateful,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he finally manages to choke out after a long, quiet moment, “That I have a second chance with her. It’s kind of surreal, really. I don’t know if she remembers and I haven’t asked, but… Sometimes, I’m afraid that she’ll just disappear, you know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He glances up at Erwin at that, and he’s unsurprised to find the other man gazing down at him, expression raw and incredibly </span>
  <em>
    <span>open</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Our previous life was not kind to us,” Erwin murmurs in response. It’s an explanation of sorts, and Levi understands what he means - that it’s kind of </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrifying</span>
  </em>
  <span> to hold onto something good in this life, constantly feeling like it’ll get ripped away too soon yet again. It’s comforting to know that he’s not alone in that aspect, though. They were just so conditioned to expect the worst...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Old habits die hard. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s a fucking understatement,” Levi says with a snort, which earns a breathy chuckle from the other man. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silence falls between them again, and Levi resumes his work on Erwin’s forearm once more. The piece is really coming together nicely, and even though the linework isn’t completely finished yet, Levi already can’t wait to get some color on it. That, and considering everything they’ve talked about so far, it already feels like it </span>
  <em>
    <span>means</span>
  </em>
  <span> more. He hopes Erwin feels the same way, too. Although Levi isn’t a very outwardly emotional person, he’d be lying if he didn’t feel that tattoos could be an emotional experience, something that can bond the artist and the client. And maybe it’s because they’re talking about their past or maybe it’s just because it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>Erwin,</span>
  </em>
  <span> but Levi can’t help but feel that bond now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As if on cue, Erwin hums thoughtfully before murmuring, “It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>strange,</span>
  </em>
  <span> remembering now, as an adult. Without that past to shape who we are now…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi knows what he means. It’s certainly odd, harboring a lifetime of memories </span>
  <em>
    <span>alongside</span>
  </em>
  <span> every memory from </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> life, as well. Their past hasn’t made Levi who he is today, and honestly, Levi’s kind of grateful for that. Although he envies what Mike and Nanaba have a little bit - having someone there who understood you fully and completely as a child must have been comforting - he also can’t begin to imagine what it was like, remembering everything at such a young age. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knows, without a doubt, that he wouldn’t be the person he is today if he remembered everything as a kid. It would have been too much. Hell, sometimes it still is now, even with a strong support system of people who understand and over twenty years under his belt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Levi mutters in response, “It’s… a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> an understatement as well, but Levi doesn’t feel like diving into </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> right now. He doesn’t even know where he’d begin, how he’d even </span>
  <em>
    <span>start</span>
  </em>
  <span> to explain to Erwin that, despite how difficult their past life was, he’s also strangely grateful that he can remember. How does he even even begin to explain that, despite all of the pain and suffering from that past life, he’s thankful to remember their unbreakable bond, their strong friendships with Hange, Mike, Moblit, Nanaba and countless others?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sure, the memories </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> a lot - they’re painful as fuck sometimes - but they’re not without good moments, too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin senses the heaviness in the air - </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course</span>
  </em>
  <span> he does, he’s always been perceptive as hell - and graciously, he attempts to give Levi an out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t have to talk about it,” he insists, but in return, Levi just shrugs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He lifts the needle from Erwin’s skin for just a moment, gray eyes searching out blue ones. “I don’t mind,” he insists, voice open and honest. It’s reminiscent of that night in Erwin’s office, when he opened up about his mother, of countless others when they talked about lost friends, their fears, hopes and dreams. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some things never change. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Those memories… they make us who we are,” Levi insists. “Yeah, a lot of them are fucking shitty, but there are a lot of </span>
  <em>
    <span>good ones,</span>
  </em>
  <span> too. Like you said, I’d rather remember, and it would be stupid not to talk about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin regards him for a long moment, eyes searching Levi for… well, Levi’s not entirely sure. But he holds Erwin’s gaze, too proud and too stubborn to look away, and eventually, the other man offers him a small, but warm smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad you feel that way,” he finally says, voice soft. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And in the back of his mind, Levi finds himself feeling the same way he did a lifetime ago when they stole away nights in Erwin’s office, talking about whatever came to mind or drinking some of Erwin’s leftover bourbon in an attempt to unwind or even smoking cigarettes on the roof and waiting for the sun to rise. Levi would be lying if he said he didn’t hold those moments near and dear, even now. He cherished those quiet moments together, when they weren’t Commander and Captain, but could just be Erwin and Levi. It’s something that, while he didn’t let himself linger on it for long back then, Levi always longed for. He always found himself hoping that maybe, if they made it out alive, they’d be able to have that more often - that they’d finally be able to finally have a sense of normalcy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now, they do, and although he’d never admit it, Levi can’t deny the warmth in his chest when Erwin smiles at him now, because they </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> just Erwin and Levi. No titles. No war to fight. No looming battle or expedition or threat of death.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So what are they now?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the first time since finding Erwin in this life, for just the briefest moment, Levi finds himself thinking that </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe,</span>
  </em>
  <span> just maybe, he wouldn’t mind it if they were something more. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I loved writing this chapter, especially some interaction between Levi and Mike. </p>
<p>Is Levi finally figuring his shit out?? Maybe. Considering the fact that there are 10 more chapters coming, probably not haha.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. If Only You Could See Yourself in My Eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it took a little while to get this chapter up! Work has been busy, then I went out of town for the first time in two years, so life has been a little hectic. Updates might be a little slower moving forward because I'm only a couple of chapters ahead on writing this, but I'm hoping to keep it somewhat timely! </p>
<p>I hope you enjoy this one!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>And if only you could see yourself in my eyes<br/>You'd see you shine, you shine</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>- "<a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/49NrH9IeTmw0CzMefCbTmC?si=e473753c908847fd">Lost</a>" - Dermot Kennedy</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Levi and Erwin continue talking nearly every day, even after Erwin’s tattoo session.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sometimes, their correspondence is limited to just a few back-and-forth texts a day - a photo here and there, a comment about the weather or even just a simple </span>
  <em>
    <span>“how was your day?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> - but Levi would be lying if he said that he didn’t notice the shift between them. He and Erwin have always been close, so it doesn’t necessarily come as a surprise that the same is true in this lifetime, but it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> when Levi feels a jolt of excitement at the sight of Erwin’s name on his phone’s screen, or when he can’t seem to wipe the smile from his face after they meet for coffee a week later. It’s different when he simply gets to enjoy Erwin’s friendship and company without the looming threat of titans or an all out war or their own imminent death. It feels… well, it feels </span>
  <em>
    <span>good. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he pushes </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> to the back of his mind. They might be soulmates, but that doesn’t mean that he has a </span>
  <em>
    <span>crush</span>
  </em>
  <span> on Erwin. That would be ridiculous. They’re friends - </span>
  <em>
    <span>best friends, </span>
  </em>
  <span>if Levi is being honest - and there’s nothing wrong with feeling excited to see someone you care about, someone you enjoy spending time with. So he doesn’t dwell on it and he tells himself not to overthink it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And for a while, it works. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They quickly fall into a routine. Although their days off don’t always line up - Levi’s schedule is always changing while Erwin’s is relatively rigid - they still manage to find time to see each other, whether it’s with a small group of friends for dinner or drinks, a large barbeque at Mike’s, or even just a quick lunch when they have an afternoon off together. Before long, they’re seeing each other at least once a week, if not more, and it feels…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, it feels comfortable. Easy. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Right.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Honestly, it’s the kind of normalcy that Levi would never admit that he longed for in a past life. Back then, his core group of friends were </span>
  <em>
    <span>soldiers.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It wasn’t uncommon to lose someone close to you unexpectedly, and for the longest time, Levi kept himself walled off, didn’t let himself get close to others, but over the years, he found that try as he might, some people could easily chip away at those walls. And over the years, he found himself regularly wishing that he could just leave all of it behind - that he could finally </span>
  <em>
    <span>let go</span>
  </em>
  <span> and have a normal life, a house to call a home, friends that he didn’t have to worry about losing on a daily basis. A family. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now, he has that, and honestly, it feels pretty damn good. So Levi </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> hold back this time. He resolves not to keep himself walled off from others. It’s hard to do so, anyway, with Hange as a roommate…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So Levi welcomes it when Erwin pops by the tattoo shop unannounced early one Saturday afternoon, balancing two paper cups in his hand - coffee for himself and tea for Levi. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I’d stop by,” he explains when Levi raises an eyebrow at him in greeting. Then, before he can comment with any sort of snarky remark, Erwin offers one of the cups forward and says, “Black tea, no sugar. I assumed you probably still like it that way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do,” Levi all but breathes in response, taking the cup from Erwin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And he ignores the flip that his stomach does at Erwin’s kind gesture - because they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>friends.</span>
  </em>
  <span> They’re friends, and that’s why Levi finds himself spending more and more time in Boulder on his days off, whether it means stopping by Mike’s place for a few drinks, grabbing dinner with Erwin occasionally or even stopping by the university with takeout during Eriwn’s lunch hour and eating together in his office. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure there are plenty of other ways you’d rather spend your day off, Levi,” Erwin comments the second time that Levi does just that. They’re sitting together in Erwin’s office, Levi’s feet kicked up on the corner of his desk while they eat. “I’m fully capable of feeding myself, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi hums around a bite of food before asking, “Oh yeah? So what were you planning on doing for lunch before I showed up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well… I -” Erwin stops himself, shooting Levi a sheepish smile. “I wasn’t very hungry, to be honest -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You look pretty hungry to me,” Levi cuts him off, nodding at the nearly empty takeout container in front of him. He can’t help but smirk at the other man, adding, “Jesus - even in this life, you’re a workaholic.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin chuckles at that, clearly caught in his lie and not denying it. “Old habits die hard, I suppose…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, well, you’re lucky you have me, then,” Levi remarks before he can really consider the weight of his words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That is, until Erwin offers him a warm smile and a tender, “I truly am.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Levi would be lying if he said he didn’t feel warm under the weight of Erwin’s gaze and kind words. They had countless conversations like this previously - Levi lost count of how many times he had to bring Erwin’s meals to his office because he refused to leave until he was satisfied with their latest expedition plans or the paperwork to request more funding - but this… <em>this</em> conversation feels different. More intimate. Maybe it’s because certain death isn’t looming over them, but whatever it is, Levi feels stripped bare whenever Erwin looks at him like that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can’t decide whether he loves it or hates it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s actually</span>
  <em>
    <span> in</span>
  </em>
  <span> Erwin’s office at the university during one of their unofficial lunch dates that Levi finally begins to question where his feelings truly lie, rather than it just being a fleeting thought. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>About three months after Erwin’s first tattoo session - and just over four months after they first </span>
  <em>
    <span>find</span>
  </em>
  <span> each other - lunches with Erwin have become a regular part of Levi’s schedule. It goes unspoken, but it just sort of becomes something that they do at least once every other week - if not every week - and over time, Levi can’t help but notice how similar, yet vastly different it feels, sitting across from Erwin at his desk in this lifetime. Sure, there are the obvious differences - Erwin is a professor now, they’re not preparing for war, the threat of death isn’t constantly in the back of their minds - but unsurprisingly, there are many similarities as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sometimes, they won’t talk much - when Erwin has a heavy workload or an important lecture following lunch, he’ll spend most of their time together reading over papers or notes and quietly picking at his food, only to apologize to Levi afterward. Other times, Levi can successfully pull Erwin away from his work with a snarky comment and much-needed company, and honestly those days are </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>his favorite. Levi won’t deny that he leaves Erwin’s office smiling, feeling much happier than he did before he arrived.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then, there are days like today.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Like in their past life, Levi has long since moved past knocking on Erwin’s office door before entering with lunch in his hands. Sometimes, it’s takeout - other times, Levi brings leftovers or a fresh meal from home. Today, he carries leftover stir fry into Erwin’s office, pushing the door open with his hip, and finds the other man slouched behind his desk, hand in his hair, looking -</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, honestly, he looks more like the man that Levi knew from their past life, actually. Stretched too thin, stressed, but trying to hold it together for the sake of everyone else. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin doesn’t say anything in greeting and Levi steels himself, knowing that today is going to be a quiet one. But at the same time, he knows that if Erwin is anything like that man from his past life, then these are the days when he needs him the most. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So wordlessly, Levi sets one container of leftovers in front of Erwin, pulls up a chair, and takes a seat across from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You look like shit,” he remarks, voice monotone, straight to the point.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Surprisingly, Erwin doesn’t say anything in response. Actually, he doesn’t even look up from his work. He just hums in response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi scoffs. “Damn, not even a ‘hello’?” he shoots back, a teasing smile pulling at his lips, “Fuck you too, asshole.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At </span>
  <em>
    <span>that,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Erwin glances up at him, and - </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh shit.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Okay, yeah, he doesn’t look good. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shit,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Levi bites before he can say anything. “Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Erwin cracks a smile. It’s a small one, but a smile nonetheless. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I should be the one to apologize, Levi,” Erwin says after an obvious moment to pull himself together. His lips are tight when he smiles and it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. To anyone else, it might not be obvious, but to Levi, it is. He’s clearly having a rough day. “You caught me on an off day - I’m afraid I won’t make for very pleasant company. You don’t have to -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut it,” Levi says with a scoff. Sure, the dark look on the other man’s face made him falter at first glance, but it’s nowhere near enough to deter him. In fact, if Levi knows Eriwn as well as he thinks he does, he knows that he needs a break from </span>
  <em>
    <span>whatever</span>
  </em>
  <span> is bothering him right now more than ever. As Levi passes a container of cold stir fry across the desk, he can’t help but think of the countless times he’d barge into Erwin’s office a lifetime ago with a shitty joke or an offhand comment, or maybe even a compliment - anything to lighten the mood when Erwin had a particularly tough day. Some things never change. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t have driven all the way here if I didn’t want to have lunch with you,” Levi admits in a stern tone, one that contrasts with the amount of affection that his words hold, “Bad day or not, you’re stuck with me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And, like countless times before, Levi’s harsh words don’t necessarily get rid of the dark cloud over Erwin’s head, but they do seem to lighten the load on his shoulders. He sits up a little straighter, reaching forward for both his leftovers and Levi’s before crossing the room to place them in the microwave. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re too kind to me, Levi,” Erwin tells him once he takes his seat again just a few short minutes later, this time with a warm lunch sitting in front of him. He inhales before taking a bite of food, another small smile gracing his features. “This is delicious.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, tell me something I don’t know,” Levi replies flippantly, even tossing an eye roll in for good measure. It’s quiet for a beat, as they both begin to eat, before he decides </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck it,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and presses -</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You wanna talk about it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not hard to tell. Judging by the far away look in his eyes and the dark bags underneath them, whatever is troubling Erwin has nothing to do with work. Hell, it likely has nothing to do with this lifetime. Levi should know - he has seen that look on Hange, Moblit and even himself from time to time in just the short few months since he regained his memories. A past life full of death and destruction will do that to you, no matter how strong you claim to be. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Erwin, as stubborn and foolhardy as ever, just shakes his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not important.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bullshit,” Levi shoots back. He considers his words for only a few seconds before deciding</span>
  <em>
    <span> fuck it,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and pressing. “I see that same look in your eyes when I look in the mirror some days. Don’t pretend like I don’t know, because I do - more than anyone. You don’t have to act so tough. You don’t have a bunch of bright-eyed recruits to impress anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin raises his eyebrows in surprise, his lips parting with unspoken words, but Levi doesn’t let him speak, at least not yet. They rarely discuss the darker parts of their past life, both intent on making the most out of this one, but even Levi knows that it’s stupid to bury it all down and pretend like it doesn’t exist. He might be stubborn, but he’s not an idiot.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So I’ll ask you again,” he mutters, “Do you want to talk about it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment, Erwin says nothing. The room is silent, save for the ticking of the clock on the wall as the seconds pass by, but after what feels like forever and is in reality on about a quarter of a minute, Erwin finally sighs, deflating just slightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you ever have dreams?” he asks after a long beat of silence, “From before?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi exhales through his nose. “Stupid question,” he responds, his voice even. “Is that what’s going on here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin nods. Finally, a piece of his wall, his tough, stoic facade, comes crumbling down. He reaches up, scrubbing his right hand over his face and back through his hair, ruining the perfect, put together part. It makes him look so </span>
  <em>
    <span>human,</span>
  </em>
  <span> the little pieces of blonde sticking up in different directions, and something inside of Levi longs to reach out - whether it’s to smooth the hair back down or comb his own fingers through the loose strands is to be determined. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I dreamt of Mike,” Erwin says at last, shaking his head, “Of Nanaba. Your squad. Farlan. Isabel -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi tenses at their names, still so affected by them, even now, but listens as Erwin continues. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“ - the countless men and women who died at my command. The recruits who laid down their lives by my side in that final battle against the beast titan,” Erwin sighs, “And for what? I didn’t even live to see it through to the end. They died because I ordered it, and -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have them too, you know,” Levi interrupts before Erwin can continue with his self-deprecating speech. When the other man looks up at him, eyes wide, Levi simply shrugs. “Nightmares,” he clarifies, “Comes with the territory, I guess. But what I’m trying to say is I get it. I’m sure the others do, too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But -” Erwin starts, but doesn’t get the chance to finish before Levi interrupts once more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you’re about to spout some shit about the guilt that you’re harboring from a lifetime ago, then save it,” Levi bites, his tone harsher than he intended. They’ve talked briefly before about Erwin’s death and what came after, what they found in the basement and how everything eventually came to an end, but Levi hasn’t divulged too many details, the wounds still so incredibly raw. And this is the first that they’ve really breached </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> topic - the guilt, the shame, the pain - in the months since they found one another, since they both remembered. It isn’t as if it was labeled as taboo or off limits, but it just… never came up. Levi never found a reason to speak of it. No use in holding onto the past when you have a second chance, </span>
  <em>
    <span>right?</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi,” Erwin tries once more, “You don’t understand -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t I?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Levi retorts, his gaze on Erwin turning hard. Levi told Erwin once a lifetime ago that his self-sacrificing, self-deprecating, guilt-ridden bullshit was just that: </span>
  <em>
    <span>bullshit.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Even then, Levi felt that there was no use in holding onto that guilt, no use in beating yourself up over the things that you can’t change. And even then, Erwin told him that he admired his ability to let go, to move on. Levi called him emotionally constipated, and they never spoke of it again. Apparently, this has been a long time coming. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you forgotten the time that I lost my entire squad on one</span>
  <em>
    <span> - just one </span>
  </em>
  <span>- expedition?” Levi asks, “Have you lost count of the kids who put their faith in me only to be shot down or eaten or lost forever? The amount of people who thought they were signing up to fight monsters but ended up killing countless men and women at </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>command? Or what about the countless innocent people that we couldn’t save? The friends that I had to </span>
  <em>
    <span>kill?</span>
  </em>
  <span> I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>understand, more than anyone. And so does Mike. And Hange. And the others. I might be paraphrasing, but wasn’t it </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> who told me that I should live my life without regrets?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin opens, then closes his mouth, his eyes wide, surprised. “Yes, but -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No buts,” Levi interrupts once more, “Stop holding onto the same shit that got you killed before. It wasn’t the beast titan who killed you - it was your own self-hatred and self-sacrifice and I won’t let you pull this shit again, you hear me? We’ve all got the same baggage, but you don’t have to let it weigh you down, and you certainly don’t have to carry it alone.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he speaks, Levi finds himself feeling </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Not angry at himself, but at Erwin. But this anger is… </span>
  <em>
    <span>different.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He’s not mad at Erwin for not seeing things his way or arguing with him, but he’s angry with Erwin for seeing </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself</span>
  </em>
  <span> in such a negative light. He’s angry because Erwin is still beating himself up over decisions he made a lifetime ago, because he’s so much better than the man he paints himself to be. Levi is angry because Erwin can’t see himself how </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> sees him, and -</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Breathing heavily, Levi finds himself locking eyes with Erwin, his own words ringing loud in the quiet room as the dust settles around them, and he finds himself thinking of just how much he </span>
  <em>
    <span>cares</span>
  </em>
  <span> for Erwin. Evidently, enough to have this argument with him here, now, over leftovers in Erwin’s office on his lunch hour. Evidently, enough to become the other man’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>soulmate,</span>
  </em>
  <span> for fuck’s sake. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before he has a chance to think too deeply into </span>
  <em>
    <span>that,</span>
  </em>
  <span> though, something seems to crack within Erwin, and his face lights up, just a little bit. This time, when he smiles, it seems more genuine. More </span>
  <em>
    <span>real.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you for saying that, Levi,” he says at last, his voice soft and gentle, so unlike the commander that Levi used to know. It’s like music to his ears. “I needed to hear it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then, after another beat, he adds fondly, “What would I do without you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi averts his eyes, suddenly acutely aware of himself under the weight of Erwin’s gaze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Probably starve to death,” he retorts curtley, “Now eat your lunch, old man.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And he tries to ignore the way that his face flushes when his comment earns a chuckle from Erwin. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>